Sweet Relief

Today's appointment went so well. Doc Oc is pretty confident that my bleeding was irritation caused by the ever growing and implanting placenta. I have a subchorionic hematoma and it has shrunk a good deal since our ER visit on Saturday. So things should be wrapping up and physically it appears to be doing so.

Baby is none the wiser! He/she was having quite the dance party in there while we were looking around. Playing and happy as could be. I could watch that screen all day.

I feel so much better confirming that things are all good. I got to take my first deep breath in days. There is not a physical way to be more grateful than we are right now.

With such fabulous news and a lot of face time with the babe, I couldn't be selfish! Here is a updated mugshot of our Spawn:Can you see the little hands and feet? idie

Our ER Visit

I won't make you read the full recount of our day before I tell you that everything looks good right now. We still need answers, but baby was measuring perfectly and heartbeat was thumping away at 160bpm.

J and I decided to have a productive day. We'd loaded up the SUV to the gills with things to donate. We did a major purge and it felt GREAT. The place where we made the donation is by the biggest mall in the area, so we decided to play for the rest of the afternoon. Impromptu lunch date and then, the highlight, window shopping at Babies R Us.

We ate lunch at a local seafood restaurant. I waited entirely too long to eat and felt like garbage. I was inches from throwing up (cold and sweaty - yuck!) and even feeling lightheaded. J even went to the bar and got me a glass of orange juice to get me through to lunch. Once I got food in my system, I was back in action. Those waves of nausea are no joke.

There are so many things that we'd never priced or played with we decided it would be fun to sit in gliders and play with strollers at Babies R Us. We had just arrived and J sat down in this adorable glider. It had great style. I didn't even get to look at the price and I felt like I'd peed my pants. "I need to find the bathroom." Which was at the opposite corner of the store. I hauled ass, afraid of what I'd felt, and my fears proved true - blood. Bright red and staining my jeans. I didn't have any pads, so TP would have to do. I found J playing with a cute plush toy and told him we had to leave. "Why?? What's wrong?" I told him that I couldn't talk about it there and as soon as we hit the car, I lost it. Ugly snotty cries and full hyperventilation.

Did I really just start bleeding upon entering a Babies R Us? How does this stuff happen to me? I wish I was making it up.

It took about a half hour before my doctor called me back. He just so happened to be the doctor on call. In that time we'd driven back north toward home. He gave me what I was expected - directions to lay low. If it got 'heavy' (1-2 pads/hr) to call him or go to urgent care. He also said that unfortunately he was out of the office on Monday, but could see me first thing Tuesday.

TUESDAY!?

The rest of the way home I was transfixed on that day. How on God's green earth could I wait THREE WHOLE DAYS!? I lounged around the house, tried to stay distracted with tv and sulked. I had a couple of heavy wipes and I finally called back just before 9:00 p.m. when I saw what I thought was stringy tissue. Final straw.

Doc Oc called me back and I told him that I was no longer comfortable. I wasn't going to rest, I was anxious, and I needed answers. Do I go and see him or visit the ER? He sent me to the ER and told me to expect a bit of blood work and an ultrasound. He would prove right. He laid things out - there is a chance this could be another miscarriage. But, he was looking at my last ultrasound and things were good, very good, even promising. That I needed to remember that bleeding was common and that many many women go on to have very healthy pregnancies after what can be considered heavy, and prolonged, bleeding.

They pulled me back really quickly, we were only in the waiting room 20 minutes, we had a private room and a great nurse. She even had us laughing a bit and eased our nerves. Unfortunately they decided to place an IV to draw my blood so that it would be there should they need to give me fluids. It was a little too real of a hospital visit for my tastes.

The process took forever. It was 11:30 before she came back and was prepping for my pelvic exam. She left and said she was going to see if the doctor was ready. 45 minutes later another woman enters, but instead of a pelvic exam she had a giant ultrasound machine. Finally. She scanned over the baby a few times looking at my ovaries, kidneys and taking measurements. We saw the baby floating around, arms moving. Was that because she was poking around? Or was our baby alive? The heart wasn't as pronounced this time because it is now within a more formed body. She wasn't still long enough for me to tell if its heart was beating.

Once she slowed down to take the finer measurements, we saw it. The little heart flicker. I lost it. Trying to hold back my sobs so that my belly wouldn't bounce while she was working. Then, she set to measure it, hit a button and wub, wub, wub, wub, wub.... our babies heartbeat. The first time we'd ever heard such a gorgeous sound.

After all the official stuff was over, she took the time to show us the spine, little feet (with itty bitty, but recognizable toes!), and waving arms. Unfortunately the baby decided to curl up toward the end, so that photo we got isn't the best. I couldn't care less.

We have instructions to see Doc Oc on Tuesday for a follow up. I am happy to report that this morning things appear to be tapering off. Much lighter when I wipe and it has taken on a brown tone. I am very interested in answers, but knowing that for now my baby is safe and dancing around, makes a world of difference.

We are both so grateful we decided to go. I am hoping that whatever this is was a fluke. I cannot imagine suffering even longer without knowing. We're all better off with a little less anxiety. Now that energy can be focused on more positive thoughts and getting some rest.

128

That is exactly how many beats per minute (BPM) our baby's heartbeat was today.

128 BPM

A little gummy bear with a valve flashing with each beat. It was the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life. Screw the 7 wonders, someone just got bumped.

It took a bit for it to sink in, but we both got choked up.

This day has been a long time coming and we are grateful for every single moment. We are so in love. I'm sorry that I don't have more to share, but I didn't want to leave you waiting.

I will leave you with this, a portrait of our little Spawn...

he/she kind of looks like a snowman, no?

Our First Ultrasound

While the first ultrasound would not still be for a couple of weeks, my doc is 'untrasound happy' and likes to get one early as a viability scan. You won't get a complaint out of me! Overall the appointment went really well! He agrees with my tracking the pregnancy via ovulation date, and not LMP (Last Monthly Period) since we were tracking so carefully.

I am officially 6 weeks pregnant today.

Blogosphere, meet Sprout 2.0, or as Jeremy calls him - Spawn. OR, as I randomly started calling him/her today - Little Pea. (Jeremy calls me Sweet Pea, this is probably where I got it.)

This isn't the greatest of the photos he took, but you can faintly see the outline of the sac that is our wee one! We are measuring at 5weeks 5days, which is pretty great considering how easy it is to be off by just a small amount. We spent a minute trying to tell if Little Pea's heart was beating, or if it was just moving fluid. Because we couldn't tell, we called it 'too early' and decided we'll look again next week. We knew it would be early, but we had to try! Our next appointment is on Thursday, 12/29. We will be 7weeks 3days and should be able to see the heartbeat. Our first real OB appointment is on 1/4.

Our doctor was on call, so we spent some quality time with his nurse. She did a great job answering our questions and sent us packing with a ton of stuff to read and consider. But, not before they took 37 gallons of my blood (give or take).

Of course we were hoping and praying to see a heartbeat today, but we still feel so much more positive about this pregnancy. It was a little alarming at first to see something that so resembled our beloved Sprout this summer. But, we are supposed to be measuring at this size right now - whereas Sprout should have been a couple weeks more mature. It was a little tug that reminded me to send our first little love a prayer.

We're off to a great start! Thank you for all of your positive thoughts and prayers. We appreciate it!