Changing a Habit

They say it takes 21 days to change a habit. After another disappointing visit to the scale last night, I have dedicated myself to making a change.

Clearly my grandiose – eat nothing but food that is good for you and work out every day – plans are not cutting it. So, instead I’m starting small. I’ve developed a poor habit of eating junk food. Especially at work I have a hard time with all of the potlucks, birthday celebrations, etc. Yesterday I got home and realized I had eaten:

1. Skittles – AKA my favorite candy in the universe

2. Chocolate Cake – thank you bridal shower

3. Cookies – not just one, but three

Stop the madness! I wasn’t bingeing or anything crazy, but I was being complacent.

For the next 22 days I am giving up treats. Candy and desserts are a no-no until I leave for San Diego. Today I packed my go-to healthy munchies – bell peppers in a light Italian dressing. Tonight I am packing up anything in my fridge/pantry and making J eat it for dinner. (only kidding!) I am going to pack up what I can and donate it or send it to work with him. I need it out of my house. We’re talking sugar detox people!

Are there any small habits you can change? Would you like to join me on my 22 day trek out of Charlie’s Chocolate Factory?

Found My Motivation!

It just slapped me upside the head on Monday.

No more slacking off.

This summer has obviously been a rough one. When it comes to my diet, I've given myself some rope. With that rope I have done nothing but hang myself.

10lbs

That is what I accomplished this summer. I got on the scale Monday and it said 191lbs. I never wanted to see 190 again and I have. FUCK. That was the straw that broke the proverbial camels back. I cannot continue to treat myself with such disregard and disrespect.

No cookie/chip/cocktail is worth this ache I have in my heart from letting myself down again. Okay, maybe not the cocktail part....

I went shopping, stocked up on good foods and Tuesday I was back at the gym. J and I have recommitted to our old program - 2 days on, 1 day off. I'm doing a minimum of 30minutes of cardio and alternating between abs/arms and abs/legs.

It is ON!

J got the time off of work and in November we are going to San Diego for a long weekend. I have 1o weeks and by then I want to lose 16 lbs. That is re-losing my 10lbs and going down another 5. That is about 1.5lbs a week and I think I can do it. The first few pounds are the easiest, water weight and whatnot, but I'm fully committed.

Goal: 175lbs by Nov. 10th.

I have a girlfriend here that is going to follow the same eating plan and my loverly friend Susan is supporting me from CA (and will be celebrating with me in SD!). Lots of support, a good plan, and a closet of pants that I need to get back into. What more does a girl need?

Operation Skinny is back in action.

Hanging Tight

I've been solo for a week and how are things going? Pretty darn good! I didn't lose this week and I didn't gain. I planned to give myself the week off and to eat what I wanted when I wanted. And you know what? I did pretty good! For the most part I want to eat healthy. I crave my veggies. But if I want to steal some of J's fries, damn it, I'm going to! It's all about moderation.

I am getting back to enjoying the gym an I look forward to additional progress on the scale this week.

Here we go!

What's Next?

Now that I've wrapped up the 6 week HCG diet phase, what do I do now??

I had a moment of panic a couple of weeks ago when my doc handed me the Transition Plan. Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Wait a damn minute! Me? Dieting SOLO? ::deep breaths into a paper bag::

You get the idea.

It took me a couple of days to come to terms with the fact that my transition plan needs to be the base for how/what I eat for the rest of my life. That's huge. That is what "they" mean when "they" say it is all about lifestyle changes.

Basically, I need to continue focusing the majority of my meals on real food. Lean protein, lots of veggies, a couple fruit servings a day, and a small amount -especially for me- of good carbs (brown rice, quinoa, etc). Avoiding sugar and processed foods. Add in lots and lots of water (60-90oz) and regular exercise. It won't peel off nearly as fast as with the HCG diet, but I should be able to continue to lose on my own now that I got that little kick in the pants.

Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast: Fruit Smoothie -strawberry, blueberry, 1/2 serving protein powder
Lunch: Leftover Chili (YUMMMY chili made with lean ground beef, chili beans, dark kidney beans, green and red bell, onion, garlic, jalapenos, and no-salt-added tomato paste) - pretty healthy and tons of veggies!
Dinner: Pesto Chicken (ala my kick-ass gal pal, Susan) - chicken breast, pesto sauce, a sprinkling of cheese, and broccoli ...simple, yet soooo yummy...

Pretty balanced, normal stuff, right?

This weekend I allowed myself a night off and went out for drinks for a girlfriends birthday. I am such a cheap date! Besides my inability to manage more than a couple vodka tonics, there are a couple of foods that I found I jumped the gun a bit too quickly with - dairy and carbs. I had a tiny cup of clam chowder and it was bloat and stomach cramps for hours. No Bueno. I had a tiny pinch of cheese on my chili, and a bit of dressing on a salad at dinner, but otherwise have avoided it since. Probably not the worst habit to avoid, so I learned my lesson there!

I want to thank all of you for your well wishes, positive words, and support over the last couple of months. It hasn't been easy, but your words of encouragement have meant the world to me. There were a couple of moments I thought, 'I can't cheat or bend the rules, because I will be devastated if I have to report back that I gained.' So, thank you for being my conscience, and continuing to be my cheerleaders, as I slog through the remaining el-bees.

McSkinny Friday

While I still have some work to do, this 6 week stage has come to a close. The HCG Diet is officially over! It was both a long and short 6 weeks. Looking back on it, it really flew by. It wasn't easy, by any means. But, I've gone through worse. In the end, it was worth it. Would I do it again? Yes. It was the strict, no-nonsense, take no prisoners (okay, that's a little dramatic), kick in the ass that I needed.

How did the whole thing turn out?

Official Weigh-In: 180lbs
Weekly Loss: 4lbs

Over six weeks, that is a total loss of 21lbs! Can I get a 'WOOT!'

To date, I have lost 56lbs. FIFTY-SIX POUNDS. That is a child! Or my dog! Wow. Right? I am very proud of myself. This is right up there with one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.

I have updated my measurements as well. There wasn't as big of a change compared to two weeks ago, but I was prepared to see that. My weight loss wasn't as dramatic either. Over time I know it will slow down. That's just the way it works. Here it is:

Over the last 6 weeks I have lost a grand total of 46" and 3.3% body fat. Almost 4 whole feet.

Whoa Nelly.

Here's the quick and dirty version: 6 Weeks 21lbs 46" 3.3%

Just call me Chilly Willy the Penguin.

Brrrrrr.

I have felt like such a wuss. Yes, it has been chillier in these parts lately, but damn. I'm spending the majority of the day in my office, wearing my coat and scarf, with my legs wrapped in a fleece blanket. I look like my Grams.

I asked the doc, is this some evil diet backlash? Her answer? Yes and no. No it isn't a side affect of the hcg. But, yes, it is a result of my diet. Why? Because I have taken off an almost 20lb coat! I'd never thought of it that way. However, I have basically step outside, taken off a big fuzzy warm coat and said, "Now body. Listen up. You will remain at the same temperature you were when you were wearing the aforementioned fuzzy warm coat. Got it?" My body then proceeds to give me the finger and commence with the shivering.

Doc says that it will just take some time for me to acclimate to my new lighter self. Has anyone experienced this? Am I silly to just have never thought about it?

Meanwhile it is warm tea and layers for me!

McSkinny Friday

This week was less than miraculous. BUT, I refuse to be anything but positive about it.

Official Weigh-In: 184

That is a loss of 1lb this week. A total of 17lbs in 5 weeks! It isn't the 4lbs of last week, but it is still a loss! This week the thing I am most proud of is that I lived my life. I went out for girls weekend, had a marvelous time (that may have involved one -or 5- too many drinks, not diet approved...), I was too busy to bother with the gym but for one day, and you know what? I loved it. At the end, I lost a pound, and it was just a little icing on the cake. Not a bad week, eh?

This week I am focusing on drinking more water. I've been kind of slacking in that area, so its time to get with the program.

One more week of this diet and then it's back to the real world! Let's see if I can go out with a bang.

Peace, love, and a size smaller jeans,

Let's see how I measure up!

While it is a week later than I'd planned to give you an update, finally the measurements are here! It feels really great to see these numbers continue to tick down. These numbers are crucial to me. At the end of the day, this is what it's all about. The scale obviously changes more drastically, but I wouldn't care if the scale didn't budge another inch, so long as I continued to trim down. It's all about feeling more confident, being more healthy, and damnit - feeling good in your jeans!

Without further ado, below are the updated measurements:I am really proud of the progress. It isn't perfect, by any means. In fact, I still have to take a deep breath before I hit 'Publish Post'. I mean, helllloooo Big Booty Judy - my hips are 12.5" larger than my waist! Why did the song Baby Got Back come to mind? But, I am happy to be slimming down pretty evenly all over.

There it is, folks! Two more weeks of the diet and we'll see where we land. I certainly wouldn't mind another drop like the last two weeks. Meanwhile I'm going to enjoy the almost two feet I've disposed of in the last month, by getting ready for my night out.

(Oh hey, another benefit of shrinking legs - less to shave!)

My weight on the scale Thursday also marks an important milestone. Since I've started this weight loss journey, almost exactly 4 years ago, I have lost a grand total of 50lbs! FIFTY. At my heaviest, when J and I got engaged, I was 236lbs. The prospect of getting to this place was daunting then. It's taken me a very long time, but I'm doing it. I didn't gain it over night, and I had (still have...) a lot of emotional baggage to slog through to get here. But, I'm very proud of myself. It may be my greatest accomplishment to date. Thank you all for your continued support. It means a great deal to me!

McSkinny Friday *Updated*

Good morning! If you follow me on Twitter, you probably already know that I was pretty excited with my progress this week. I won't delay your suspense any longer. This weeks weigh official weigh in:

185lbs

That is a loss of FOUR POINT EIGHT EL-BEES! I could not believe it. I was astonished. At almost 4pm, full clothed, I weighed 185. That felt great!

The real celebration for me came this morning. It caused me to dance on the scale: 183.6. Do you know what that means? I have lost 20.4lbs since the beginning of the year and 17.4 in the last month. I could not possibly be happier with the progress. Twenty pounds! That is half way to my 40lbs goal. Already! I can see my stomach getting flatter and my jeans getting too big, it is a pretty great feeling.

Folks, I am about to weigh the actual weight on my drivers license. Whoa nelly. Wait, does that mean I can lie again and drop it another 20?! (J, just read that and said, "No!" lol) I suppose I can wait to fix it until I actually weigh 160. I never thought that day would actually come. I honestly had given up for awhile there. To have this control and confidence back is priceless. For those of you out there really struggling to find your place in the weight loss regime - it can happen. You will find that thing that works for you and it feels amazing. Worth the suffering and the having to do without. Worth every moment.

I had a really great acupuncture appointment again. He is continuing to step up our regimen each week, so there are a couple of points that were pretty sore yesterday. We had another really great chat. We talked a little about the power of a genuine compliment. I have been receiving quite a few of them, especially at work, recently. Intellectually I understand that receiving a compliment feels good. But, I don't think I really knew how deeply insecure and depressed I was until these compliments started pulling me back up. I didn't realize that I even needed that. And to have this realization and to really feel good about myself, is excellent timing considering I have an interview later today. It could mean even more good things for me!

This week was a pretty great one. Tomorrow night I am headed out with some of my favorite girls and I'm going to wear the hell out of my new party dress. This one (in dark gray):

This week has certainly been cause for a little celebration. Go Me!

ETA: Folks, today I bought a pair of new jeans. Not just any jeans, but a pair of size 12's! She same pair I looked like a busted can of biscuits in a couple of weeks ago. Yup, they FIT! Like, totally, fit. Really well. No muffin top. No camel toe. No squishing of any kind!

I'll fess up, I'm a slacker.

I haven't posted in quite a few days and I didn't even show up this weekend with measurements like I promised. Do you know who we can blame?

AF

We can blame her for just about everything though. AF decided that she couldn't live without me on Valentine's Day, so she decided to pay me (another) visit. She's a clingy bitch like that. Because she has a tendency to over pack, I was left with major bloat and water retention. Peeps, my scale went up 3lbs in a day. Not to mention the awful cramps and nausea I had on Monday. Even J said, "Are you okay? Your face looks a little puffy..." Greeeaaat.

I am deflating a bit and should be able to have some numbers for you this Friday.

J and his boys are having a guys weekend, that they have lovingly named Man Camp 2011. Each of them are SO excited. They have a weekend away from wives and girlfriends (and a daughter, one is a single dad), in the woods, in a cabin, with bad food, beer, bonfires, beer, and I'm sure a good amount of foul language and discussion of bodily functions, just for good measure.

Us girls on the other hand are a bit more civilized. (don't laugh!) Friday night I am flying solo. I have an interview that day and plan to come home and veg for the evening. Maybe I'll have a friend over for a movie night or something. All I know is that there will be pj's and snuggling with my pups. Saturday night we are turning it on. The 5 of us have Pricelined a room in Downtown Seattle. We're meeting there in the late afternoon to get all dolled up. (Folks, if you could just see my new Banana Republic dress, just waiting for me to tear the tags... love it!) We're going out to a late dinner, having drinks and going dancing, and then crashing at a fancy hotel for the night. The next morning it is brunch and home before the boys stumble home smelling like farts and campfire.

Ever since I started my diet I have been dreading this weekend. How will I behave? Now that it is here, I cannot believe I was thinking of backing out. I love these girls. Any weight gain (not that there will be!) would be worth it for quality time with them.

Do you have any fun weekend plans?

McSkinny Friday!

Well good morning my lovelies. Why am I so chipper you ask? Well, that might just be because this weeks weigh in went much better than I anticipated!

Thursday Official Weigh In: 189.8

BOYAH!

That is another loss of 3.6lbs or for those of you struggling to do the math (like me) - 11.2lbs in THREE WEEKS. Sorry for the caps, but were they not totally necessary?? I'm so proud of myself. Even after beating myself up over last weekend I still pulled off another awesome loss. My goal for this week has nothing to do with the scale (although I'll be damned if you get me to stop now) - I've got to stop being so hard on myself. I'm human. I'm going to make mistakes. But it is all about learning from those mistakes and not allowing them to happen over and over. Thanks, Josey, for the encouragement when I needed it last week. You all have been wonderful support.

My energy is officially back. I'm starting to pick back up at the gym too. Not 100% to where I was, but I'm getting there. It's all about one day at a time. Am I right or am I right? I think my vitamin D is really helping in this area too. I'm just feeling so much better.

Want to know what I love? My husband calling me skinny. It isn't true, by any means, but he's really noticing and keeps telling me how much he loves it. His new favorite past time is wrestling around with me (not in that way you dirty perves). I usually could hold my own, but now he just dominates me. Punk! Okay, part of me loves it when he picks me up and tosses me on the bed. Not going to lie about that. ::wink::

I would be remiss if I neglected to mention - I was able to buy a new dress shirt for work - in a medium. Hellstotheyes! I danced in the dressing room and took a full minute to admire my waist. Do you know how long it has been since I've been truly giddy in the dressing room? I mean, we all know that lighting dreadful and I still rocked it.

Three weeks down, three more weigh ins to go. Then, I'm on my own. Do you think I'll be ready?

I do.

More measurements this weekend. Stay tuned!

Diet Fail

Today was not a good day for my diet. It didn't start off bad. After sleeping in, I had my usual smoothly for breakfast. After that we had some errands to run. One of those errands included stopping by Kohl's because the jeans I have are getting pretty loose.

Folks, I was able to put on and button a pair of 12's! I admit it wasn't the sexiest look - the camel toe and decent sized muffin top left a liiittle to be desired, but did I mention they were both ON and BUTTONED!? Happiness is found in these little moments. Next time, I'm buying them!

After our running around it was time for lunch. We were with J's dad and ate out at a local restaurant. I thought I did well by ordering a grilled chicken breast and broccoli. Except the broccoli was drenched in delicious butter. Here's the thing - I was starving so I ate it anyway. Oops! I kicked myself once it was gone. But, it was SO delicious. So was the half a roll I shared with J. Double oops!

Next came dinner with for my sisters birthday. Her 21st birthday! That meant we started the meal with a shot of tequila. I ordered fairly well by getting a chicken taco salad with no cheese and pico de gallo instead of dressing. Except the beans on my sisters plate called my name a few times. I ate the whole salad. I'm fairly sure it was about twice the amount of chicken I should have had. And who knows what the salt content was. Yikes!

We ended up at a friends house for the remainder of the evening where the boys ordered pizza. I stole a small bite of J's slice. That led to another two small bites. I basically ate a slice of pizza. Craaaaaaap.

On their own these little things aren't a huge deal, but they probably add up to quite a few hundred calories by the end of the day! All things considered for a cheat day, I probably could have done worse, but the guilt is pretty heavy at the moment. To pay for my debts, I will definitely be visiting the gym tomorrow morning.

Especially since there is a Super Bowl party in my future. Please pray that I can keep my strength and willpower!

Meal Plan

As requested, I will run you through what my meals look like in a typical day...

Breakfast Options:
*Shake - made with a large scoop of a vanilla protein shake, blueberries, strawberries, and ice/water

*Egg white omelet - including a lean protein (chicken or turkey), and veggies (bell pepper and onion) personally I'm not a huge fan of egg whites, so I've only done this a couple of times.

Snack:
*Veggies (celery sticks, cucumbers, bell peppers

*Wasa crackers and pico de gallo

*Fruit

Lunch:
*Salad - mixed greens and whatever I'm feeling that day (or have in the refrigerator); cucumbers, grape tomatoes, radish, bell peppers, and/or sprouts - no dressing for me, so I will alternate between different vinegars and a mustard/splenda combo that a nice waitress told me about (don't knock it - delish! compared to plain salad).

*Lean protein (shrimp, turkey, chicken, white fish halibut/cod) either on the side, or in the salad if I'm feeling frisky.

Snack:
*Shake before the gym

Dinner:
*A protein (as described above) - I can have red meat or pork occasionally, so I might switch that in here or there

*Flat Out - I can have one of these a day. Most of the time I eat it with dinner and make a wrap out of whatever I happen to be eating.

*Veggies - asparagus, broccoli, etc

I have been trying to cook my lunch meats ahead of time. One of my favorite lunches is fajita filling. Taking a couple of chicken breast, I cut it into strips, seasoning it with taco seasoning and salt/pepper. I bake them on a cookie sheet along with cut up strips of bell pepper and onion. I cook enough of them to split up into containers that cover lunch for a few days. Cooking in bulk has saved me from having to decide last minute what I am going to eat. Eliminating the risk that I will choose something unhealthy.

But really, it's a lot of salad.

Lastly, and what I feel is most important, is the water. Lots of it. The only day I haven't recorded a loss is when I didn't meet my water expectations. Doc says that at a minimum we should drink a third of our weight in oz each day. When I got started I weighed 201lbs, that means I need to drink a minimum of 67oz a day (201/3). For simplicity I call it 70oz, even as I lose weight. The hardest part is remembering it throughout the day. I drink a pretty good amount of water anyway, but it is helping me be more consistent.

I know this wasn't a glamorous recipe book and I apologize for that. But, honestly, I really haven't done anything too fancy. I am going to start looking up different recipes and as I try something new that I enjoy, I will be sure and share it here.

Please feel free to ask if you have any additional questions. I'm happy to share my experience.

The Gym: Revisited

Yesterdays work out was definitely easier. Not easy by any means, but I made it through my full work out. I was totally wiped after, but in a good productive kind of way. I was proud of myself for sticking through it until the end.

I am feeling better and better each day. Less tired, better energy, and a little less like I'm going to eat my arm if I can't get a damn potato. I've found some new recipes and even more variety which I'm happy about. It gets easier as I see more progress.

Tomorrow I will have a couple of posts for your viewing pleasure. First, my weigh in - including measurements. Lastly - some information on my meal plans. Stay tuned!

The Gym

Another challenge of my diet has surfaced and doesn't want to go away - the gym. I feel like I haven't worked out in years when I go to the gym now. About 10 minutes in to whatever it is I'm doing, and I am just exhausted. My heart rate is a little harder to keep at acceptable levels. Overall I'm really having to take it easy.

I'm not sure what I think about that. I know that I'm taking in a lot fewer calories, so that plays a part. Doc mentioned that for the first couple of weeks my body would be in a state of detox, since I am eating so much 'cleaner'. That could be contributing. Do I try to go more frequently but do shorter workouts? Do I do every other day and keep up with what I'm doing? Any thoughts or suggestions? I am going to revisit this in my appointment this week.

Aside from having a strict bedtime and the gym being a struggle - things are looking up a bit. I don't want to jinx it, but I am feeling better. My weight loss has slowed a tiny bit, but is still going down each day bit-by-bit. Less with the highs and lows, I have evened out a bit and I am grateful for that. After just over a week I feel like things are settling a bit.

Hopefully that means I'll make it the long hall!

I know that I mentioned including meal plans and measurements. I haven't forgotten, but things have been a bit busy on my end. They're coming! (along with a non diet-related post for a change. lol) Thank you for your patience and, as always, your support.

Eating Out

I'm struggling with how to integrate myself into public eating. How do I accomplish that and still follow my strict eating plan? Not like I can just walk into Red Robin and pick something from the 'light' menu. I looked at their nutrition information thinking there has to be a couple of things on the menu I could eat, right? lol - yeah right.

The Ensenada Chicken Platter - it is a couple of seasoned chicken breasts with a side salad. Sounds perfect, right? I thought so too.

ALMOST 800 CALORIES AND OVER 2000mg OF SODIUM.

Sorry for the yelling, but sweet baby Jesus in a manger, are you serious!?

We are seeing a movie with friends today and their text to ask if we wanted to do lunch first is causing me stress. Am I going to be a homebody for 5 more weeks? Do I need to eat first and watch everyone else eat burgers and fries? I'm worried that if I start fudging the lines and 'cheating' here and there that it will just be a slippery slope.

I'll need to figure this out because I've got my baby sister's 21st birthday coming up, as well as girls weekend at the end of February. Yikes. I think I'm in trouble folks.

We'll see how this day shakes out.


**ETA - Lunch went okay today. RR now has a Simple Grilled Chicken Salad and when you get it with no bread, dressing, or cheese it is about 220 calories! FYI should you be in my boat in the future. Even if you got light dressing, that would be very reasonable. Thank you for the suggestions and encouragement. I appreciate it!

McSkinny Friday

Yesterday I had my first weekly weigh in with Dr.T. It didn't go quite as well as I'd hoped, weight wise. But as she pointed out, when I weighed in I'd eaten two meals, drank my days worth of water, and I hadn't :ahem: gone to the bathroom... you get the idea. I'm full of it. (aren't you so glad you stopped by?) The first time I weighed in (last week) it was first thing in the morning and I'd not eaten much for the day. All I'm saying here is that it decreases the spread a bit. Now that I'm done making excuses... lol

Official weigh in: 197.00
(unofficial weight on my scale this morning - 194.1!)

That's exactly 4 lbs from my starting weight and 7lbs since the beginning of the month. I'll take it! 4lbs a week will still get me pretty damn close to my 25lb goal at the end of this 6 weeks.

Doc and I talked through managing some of the rough patches. A couple of times this week I've felt like crap. Especially so after my workouts Wednesday and Monday afternoon. She confirmed that I am more active than most folks that participate and that if I'm feeling that run down, I can add almost another full meal. At least some protein, if not a veggie too. I felt better and less like I would be 'cheating' if I really needed it. She reminded me that the first week is almost like a cleanse for my body since I've ditched so many things that aren't great for me. That I need to be patient and ride this week out - that it will get better. I appreciate knowing it won't last throughout the full six weeks. I also got the approval for a couple of food items that aren't on The List so that I can mix up the meals a bit. Yay! That was a big relief to me. I feel much better with this little bit of flexibility. Much more confident that I can actually do this.

Acupuncture was great! We had another wonderful conversation. He's a really good listener and has given me some great food for thought regarding both my fertility and managing my stress. He's very insightful. The actual treatment itself was a step up from last time. A couple of them did hurt a little bit. Nothing bad, but they stung for a few seconds. I would still hugely recommend it, especially for any of my fellow IF'ers out there.

Other than our conversation, the nap I get to have during my treatment is my favorite part. By that I mean it is awesome. I even told him that when he wasn't looking I was going to wheel his heat lamp out to my car. That thing is fantastic. All week I will be looking forward to next weeks snooze under that thing. It was love at first nap.

We didn't take measurements this week, so I will have to bust out the measuring tape this weekend and see what we come up with. I think we can officially call Week 1 (which was only half a week even) a success! I'm already starting to see a difference in how my pants fit!



P.S. I was asked about meal planning and what I eating these days. ::Waves to Mrs. Joe!:: I will put some things together and post about that soon!

Tomorrow is weigh in...

...with Dr. T. And can I tell you something? I'm EXCITED.

I cannot wait to share my results with you all. Week one overall has been a great success. Has it been easy? Oh, hell no. I had a hyperventilating moment of panic on Monday. How can I do this for SIX WEEKS!? But I did some shopping, some creative meal planning and most importantly - put on my big girl panties and got the hell over it.

Because folks, the point here is that I need to lose weight. And the question I will continue to ask myself is - Is six weeks of sacrifice and discipline worth it?? And the answer, every time, is 'yes'.

The hardest parts have been struggling with what feels like a lack of variety. I'm not big on eating the same thing every day. So I've been focusing more on switching things up a bit. My doc said if there were any additional foods outside of the list that I had questions about including, to write it down or take a picture of the label and bring it to our weekly visit. I've got a couple of items to ask about that will really help me shake things up a bit. I can do this. Right? Right.

Right?

J has been pretty great through this whole thing. I've worked hard to plan dinners (our only meal together) that work for the both of us. Adapting my limited choices to his tastes (thankfully he isn't picky!). The other night I was in a bit of a hurry and just steaming some frozen mixed veggies. But, there were carrots in the mixed veggies and they are not on my approved list. What did Jeremy do? He went through and picked them all out. He's trying so hard to say the right things and be supportive without being pushy. I imagine that it is hard for him to know what to say or do since he's been Captain Skinny Pants his whole life. I am very grateful for his efforts.

Any bets with what the scale will say tomorrow at the doc? Remember that last week I was 201.

Here's to hoping that the later part of week 1 is easier on the soul than the first half. Wish me luck!

Reflection: Diet Day 1

Today was the first day of my new diet. I did great! Here's a breakdown of what I ate:

I slept in and had a late breakfast: Smoothie made with Strawberries, blueberries, and a bit of fresh squeezed orange and lemon juice, and a scoop of protein shake (vanilla)

No snack today because we slept in...

Lunch: Wrap made in a Flat Out (basically a whole wheat tortilla), lettuce, tomato, chicken, green bell peppers, a bit of lemon juice

Snack: Protein shake (vanilla) and an apple

Dinner: Baked chicken, broccoli, and a mixed green w/ cucumber salad (vinegar dressing)

Best part of Day 1? I definitely didn't go hungry today!

Worst part of Day 1? I miss condiments and cheese. No salad dressing? No dippings for veggies? This will be interesting. Any delicious thoughts or workarounds out there?

We even went to the gym this afternoon. When we got home from the gym I baked up a bunch of chicken (seasoned with taco seasoning and a yummy grill mix), bell peppers, and onions. I've portioned them out for lunches this week. I love having that behind me. One less thing to think about.

6 weeks feels like a long time when you're looking at it from this end. But, if it gets me in better habits and helps me meet my goal? It will be worth it. I'm already teasing Jeremy about the fun things him and his new skinny girlfriend will do in Europe. :) Day 1 is officially behind me.

McSkinny Fridays

I don't like to conform, so 'McFatty Monday's' were out of the question. I'm also not a fan of the whole 'fatty' part of that equation anyway. As a result I'm taking a bit of a more positive approach. Plus, that word isn't going to apply to me anymore, right? So, let's just ditch it from the get go.

For at least the next six weeks I am going to be reporting my stats. Feel free to drop in an check 'em out. If you're also fighting the good fight, I'd like to encourage you to comment so that I can follow your progress as well. Accountability and support is where it's at!

Here goes nothing. Close your eyes and the page if you're squeamish. lol Okay, okay, their not that bad...

Weight: 201 lbs (again.... ugh)
I would like to give myself a bit of credit here because this was after breakfast and fully clothed!

Arm: 14
Bust: 41.25
Chest: 36.5
Waist: 34.25
Hip: 46.75
Thigh: 29.25
Calf: 16.75
(all measurements are in inches - unfortunately)

BMI: 32.5 (for reals?! that's gotta drop asap!)

There you have it, my dear friends, the start. Let's just hope those numbers are a distant memory in a couple of months.

Peace, love, and smaller hips,