Tuesday, April 24, 2012

24 Weeks

While we fully expect Lily to stay an inside baby and grow for a few more months, the 24th week is a bit of a milestone - viability. Should circumstances cause her to arrive early, she'd now have a fighting chance. And while I pray daily never to test those statistics, it's a bit of a relief to reach this point.

In my few years of experience TTC I have met many women who have given birth at this point, or slightly before. It is those women, and their angel babies, that my thoughts have surrounded lately. My appreciation and perspective is different now. While I cannot, and hope I never, fully appreciate the suffering of losing a child in that way, I now know what they stood to lose. The attachment I have to Lily now is real. She's real. (Not that she ever wasn't...) Lily has already changed my life. I say a few extra prayers for those babies. I send a few extra loving thoughts to their beautiful mommies. And I ask nothing in return except that those angels keep an eye out for Lily. That they protect her and keep her safe until she's fully baked and ready for the outside world.

I am feeling pretty good these days. I had to travel for work last week and experienced my first bout of swollen feet/ankles. Not fun when you're trudging through OHare.

J continues to play protective daddy. 'Dont lift that! Go relax, I'll do it. You're not overdoing it, are you?' I think between him and my mom I would never leave the bed unless I was in a wheelchair. Lol It's very sweet that he's so concerned about us, but I do hope he relaxes before he has a breakdown.

I am so grateful to gave passed another little hurdle. One more step closer to a happy and healthy Lily. Did you see that? It was my shoulders relaxing another half inch.

Happy 24th Week baby girl.

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Saturday, April 7, 2012

Dreams of Lily

The last two sleeps in a row have held dreams of our little baby girl. It was amazing. She had short fuzzy blond hair (both her daddy and I did too as babes), big blue eyes (like me), and little tiny red pouty lips.

One of the dreams had moments of her with our pups. Both dogs laying near her, looking longingly at her, or watching her protectively. We've been thinking a lot about how to help the dogs adjust when we bring her home this summer. I hope that they're as good with her as my dream suggested.

With the exception of this weird moment in my dream when I was trying to get my dog (when she was a pup) into a comfortable position to be nursed - W.T.F. - it was a fairly boring dream about lazing about with our little Lily. I woke up and told J about it both times. Telling him that I got to see her and it really felt like what I imagine her to look like. "Was she a good little girl?" was what he asked. And she was. Throughout the whole dream she was quite or smiling, happy as a clam.

There could not have been a more perfect way to start our Saturday. Sun shining in the window, snuggled up with J and Tony Danza, dreaming of our daughter.


Like whoa.