Thursday, May 10, 2012


As many of you guys already know, I've been one who has struggled with my weight and body image for years.

When we got pregnant I knew that would come with weight gain. What I didn't anticipate would be how hard it would be on me. It is really hard to watch the scale climb to numbers you never wanted to see again.

There are a few things weighing on me...

I'm not being as good as I should be. I've been dieting for so many years that I literally don't know how to eat normally. And since I don't know how, I've been careless. This was not helped by my initial aversions and weight loss in my first trimester. I got in the habit of being able to eat whatever sounded good. Which is never veggies, btw. Also, while sweets were an aversion before... not any more! Oh the guilt!

Since we got off to a rough start with this pregnancy, I've not been exercising enough. Plain and simple I haven't been active enough at all. J is pretty paranoid and even when I want to, I get 'maybe you shouldn't ...' not helping!

My doc did say that around 20ish weeks, give or take, that my weight gain would play catch up. Between that phenomenon and my lack of restraint, I am now up 17lbs at 26 weeks. Which, while not horrible at all, means I won't meet my 20lb weigh gain goal. In 10 weeks I've gained almost 20lbs. Damn.

My Gestational Diabetes test is tomorrow. I am so nervous. Since I don't handle carbs well anyway, I'm worried I won't pass. I don't want any other obstacles.

Starting this game overweight sucks. It makes everything harder. I am more self conscious. I'm harder on myself over the little things and I feel myself focusing on the wrong things.

Not my entire self is crazy about this. I do have a piece of my mind that days I've gained weight for worse reasons and lost it before, I can do it again! Also, I want to do everything I can to enjoy this time. If that means a small bowl of ice cream with the hubs at the end of a long day I suppose its worth it.

I need to get back in better habits. Walk more, eat more veggies, and take a damn deep breath.

We have been so blessed, I don't want to mess any of this up. So, if you have an extra prayer, please say one for me passing my GD test. I promise I'll be better. Pinky promise.

How did you deal with weight gain? Any tips or resources?

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  1. Weight gain and loss isn't the same right now.
    That sounds harsh and that isn't how I intend it, but the weight you are carrying is not weight in the sense that you gained weights. It's a baby. It's amniotic fluid.
    Stressing about how you will lose weight that you haven't even really gained, that you are just temporarily carrying, is essentially pointless, you know what I mean? I lost 11lbs in the 1st tri. LIke you, I gained a bunch during 2nd. I gained 27 lbs, and within 2 weeks of her birth, it was gone.
    What wasn't gone was my extra weight from before she came :) But that's no matter right now. You don't know how you will lose it, or how quickly. And really, you shouldn't even think about *that* until at least 3 months post. There are too many other things to focus on. She comes first and she's what matters, and your weight, well you can cross that bridge when you come to it, but for now, it's farrrrr off on the horizon. But I agree, you are focusing on the wrong thing :) Weight is good right now. Embrace it. It's Lily's. So it's beautiful.

    And GD isn't messing up. GD isn't anyone's fault. Would you tell me or R that we messed up? Of course you wouldn't. If it happens, it happens, and you deal and move on. There are far larger obstacles. The GD thing is pretty easy comparatively. Worst case, you have expert resources to help :)

    Love you!

  2. I know how you feel. I have fought my weight for YEARS. I am starting at a higher weight and I hate knowing I am adding onto that. I couldn't help the weight I gained while doing two rounds of IVF, but it doesn't help my situation. You aren't alone my friend.

  3. This is the most beautiful weight you could ever gain. Ever. It's hard, and it's worth it, just like motherhood.

  4. Working out is one of THE VERY BEST THINGS you can do for you and for the baby. Unless your doc has put you in the high risk category, there is absolutely no truth to the "maybe you shouldn't" try not to let that deter you. Honestly, you will have a easier labor if you're in shape because you will be stronger and have a higher endurance, and that is SO important when you're doing the hardest work of your life. I don't really agree with the first commenter (no offense)... it is not all baby weight for the majority of people. YES, you are gaining weight for an important reason, and being on track to gain 35# or whatever is NOT bad. BUT, every single friend I have that gained weight "b/c it was best for the baby" or whatever gained way too much and had a harder time taking it off. I know that when you've had eating issues in the past, gaining weight during pregnancy is HARD. It's a total mind fuck. Just resolve every single day to move your body and eat a little healthier. You can do it!

  5. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. My computer just deleted my super awesome long comment. DAMMIT.

    Long story short... it is HARD to gain weight during pregnancy, especially when you've struggled with your self image and weight in the past. It's a mind fuck, plain and simple. Yes, it's important to be healthy for the baby, but that doesn't make it easier.

    That being said, for the majority of people, it is NOT all baby and the "maybe you shouldn't" excuse is totally baseless (unless, of course, you've been categorized as high risk by your OB/midwife). Every friend I have who has gained weight "For the baby" gained way too much, felt awful about themselves, had troubles losing it, harder labors, etc. It is SO important to be strong and fit going into labor - it gives you more strength and endurance for one of the most important events of your life. When you feel like bingeing on unhealthy food, think "how will this help me labor effectively?" I have friends who have said that for every mile they walk, it will take a minute off of their labor. Keep that in mind!! :)

    You can totally do this Sarah - feel free to email if you ever need help/encouragement/a kick in the ass.

    EEEK!! YOu're pregnant! Life is so good. :)

  6. Thank you, ladies. I really value your perspectives. I should clarify that I never meant getting GD would be me messing up. I know it wouldn't be my fault, no matter my current choices.

    I really want to make sure my food and activity choices don't impact her. That's what I can control and where I don't want to mess up.

    Especially because I am having a girl... I really don't want to share my struggles with her.

    You're all right ... especially the mind fuck part! Lol

  7. I'm still dealing with my weight and my daughter is 3 months.. so far I've only lost 17 lbs,. .. but mostly that was baby weight and I'm back where I started before I got pregnant which was high .. :sigh:.. and it's even harder to lose weight having a baby. Especially if you breast feed. I know they say you lose weight when you breast feed but for women like me.. you don't.. they say that breast feeding is like taking a birth control pill.. If you gained while taking those then you'll gain while breast feeding.. yay .. I'm one of the lucky few!.. :(