My streak did what all good streaks do, it came to an end.
12 Weeks 1 Day
That is exactly how long I made it through this pregnancy before I threw up. Because I needed something else to do this week on top of the fevers, headaches, and the body shaking coughs.
I've talked a lot about my aversions and that the strongest of them surrounds my beloved meat. As my nausea has been lightening, I've been hoping to see an increase in the flexibility of my diet choices.
Tonight I was feeling good! I haven't had a fever today, and while exhausted, I can start to see some progress. We decided to order in and pasta was the winning choice. The thought of a meat sauce wasn't completely grossing me out, so I decided to go for it! Cannelloni it was. De-lish! I try to stay distracted if I'm eating something I'm not excited about. Keep talking with J, think of something else, just get through it.
Yeah, that worked for about 5 bites. I held that 5th bite in my mouth coaching myself through it. That worked for about 15 seconds before I had to haul ass for the bathroom. I will spare you the remaining details, but only say I had nothing left to give.
And I cried.
After I brushed my teeth and sucked it up, I conceded to Eggos and chocolate milk for dinner.
Let's hope it was a one time thing, shall we? Please? Pretty please?
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Pneumonia.
I am going to have this view for at least a couple more days. My fever (albeit mild) persisted today, so off to the walk-in clinic we went.Diagnosis? Pneumonia.
I was given antibiotics and instructions to hydrate and rest. Even going to the clinic was too much action for me today. I almost fainted while I was there and had to lay down. I don't think I'll be leaving the sofa for a little while.
I would really like to catch a damn break.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Sharing is Caring.
Except when we're talking colds. And especially when that 'cold' holds the threat of your husbands pneumonia.
Yes, yesterday I caught the plague. Thankfully I am fairly confident I don't have pneumonia. I've only had a slight fever (99.3 was the highest) and it responded to just one Tylenol. I have developed a bit of a phlegmy cough (glad you stopped by today?) and a headache, but overall it could be worse.
I slept for a solid 11 hours and while I still have a cough, I'm feeling okay just relaxing in bed. I'm keeping an eye on the fever, which I haven't had at all so far today!
I was hoping for a drama free week, but we'll have to cross our fingers that week 12 brings that instead. For now, I'm back to watching house/bath/kitchen crashers and dozing.
Any fun weekend plans? Can I live vicariously through you?
Yes, yesterday I caught the plague. Thankfully I am fairly confident I don't have pneumonia. I've only had a slight fever (99.3 was the highest) and it responded to just one Tylenol. I have developed a bit of a phlegmy cough (glad you stopped by today?) and a headache, but overall it could be worse.
I slept for a solid 11 hours and while I still have a cough, I'm feeling okay just relaxing in bed. I'm keeping an eye on the fever, which I haven't had at all so far today!
I was hoping for a drama free week, but we'll have to cross our fingers that week 12 brings that instead. For now, I'm back to watching house/bath/kitchen crashers and dozing.
Any fun weekend plans? Can I live vicariously through you?
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sweet Relief
Today's appointment went so well. Doc Oc is pretty confident that my bleeding was irritation caused by the ever growing and implanting placenta. I have a subchorionic hematoma and it has shrunk a good deal since our ER visit on Saturday. So things should be wrapping up and physically it appears to be doing so.
Baby is none the wiser! He/she was having quite the dance party in there while we were looking around. Playing and happy as could be. I could watch that screen all day.
I feel so much better confirming that things are all good. I got to take my first deep breath in days. There is not a physical way to be more grateful than we are right now.
Baby is none the wiser! He/she was having quite the dance party in there while we were looking around. Playing and happy as could be. I could watch that screen all day.
I feel so much better confirming that things are all good. I got to take my first deep breath in days. There is not a physical way to be more grateful than we are right now.
With such fabulous news and a lot of face time with the babe, I couldn't be selfish! Here is a updated mugshot of our Spawn:
Can you see the little hands and feet? idie
Can you see the little hands and feet? idie Monday, January 23, 2012
11 Weeks
We didn't get to this point without a little bit of drama. But, I couldn't be happier to be here.
The beginning of my 10th week I felt great! My nausea took a couple days off and I even had more energy. It only lasted a few days, but I was grateful for the break.
Other exciting things happened this week. While I didn't make our pregnancy public knowledge, I did tell my bosses. I work with amazing women and my boss was really there for me during my miscarriage (having been through one herself). My direct manager was in town this week, so it was great to be able to see her and tell her in person. They both got teary eyed and went on and on about how happy they were for me. It was a fun moment. They've sworn themselves to secrecy until we're ready to go public.
I'm still experiencing some serious food aversions. In fact, it's made eating pretty frustrating. Being pregnant does limit your diet to begin with and then you add the things that you don't want anything to do with - most meat, especially beef (so sad!), red sauce, sweets, some breads... the list goes on. It's challenging to find something that J and I can both agree on these days. I've eaten my fair share of macaroni and cheese.
My weight is still down. 187 this morning. -3lbs since my BFP. While finding things that I enjoy is challenging, I am still making sure to eat very frequently so that I can get my calories in. This week I struggled with the water intake. Along with continuing to try, and sometimes choke down, different foods, water will be my focus this week.
We got to see baby on Saturday and he/she is looking amazing. We're so grateful that baby is not phased by the dramatic goings-on of the moment. I will never forget the sound of that strong heartbeat and the sight of our dancing baby. There were some serious water aerobics happening. This child is already better at working out than I am.
Tomorrow is my follow-up appointment with Doc Oc. I'm hoping for answers and another peek at our babe.
Here's to an uneventful 11th Week!
The beginning of my 10th week I felt great! My nausea took a couple days off and I even had more energy. It only lasted a few days, but I was grateful for the break.
Other exciting things happened this week. While I didn't make our pregnancy public knowledge, I did tell my bosses. I work with amazing women and my boss was really there for me during my miscarriage (having been through one herself). My direct manager was in town this week, so it was great to be able to see her and tell her in person. They both got teary eyed and went on and on about how happy they were for me. It was a fun moment. They've sworn themselves to secrecy until we're ready to go public.
I'm still experiencing some serious food aversions. In fact, it's made eating pretty frustrating. Being pregnant does limit your diet to begin with and then you add the things that you don't want anything to do with - most meat, especially beef (so sad!), red sauce, sweets, some breads... the list goes on. It's challenging to find something that J and I can both agree on these days. I've eaten my fair share of macaroni and cheese.
My weight is still down. 187 this morning. -3lbs since my BFP. While finding things that I enjoy is challenging, I am still making sure to eat very frequently so that I can get my calories in. This week I struggled with the water intake. Along with continuing to try, and sometimes choke down, different foods, water will be my focus this week.
We got to see baby on Saturday and he/she is looking amazing. We're so grateful that baby is not phased by the dramatic goings-on of the moment. I will never forget the sound of that strong heartbeat and the sight of our dancing baby. There were some serious water aerobics happening. This child is already better at working out than I am.
Tomorrow is my follow-up appointment with Doc Oc. I'm hoping for answers and another peek at our babe.
Here's to an uneventful 11th Week!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Our ER Visit
I won't make you read the full recount of our day before I tell you that everything looks good right now. We still need answers, but baby was measuring perfectly and heartbeat was thumping away at 160bpm.
J and I decided to have a productive day. We'd loaded up the SUV to the gills with things to donate. We did a major purge and it felt GREAT. The place where we made the donation is by the biggest mall in the area, so we decided to play for the rest of the afternoon. Impromptu lunch date and then, the highlight, window shopping at Babies R Us.
We ate lunch at a local seafood restaurant. I waited entirely too long to eat and felt like garbage. I was inches from throwing up (cold and sweaty - yuck!) and even feeling lightheaded. J even went to the bar and got me a glass of orange juice to get me through to lunch. Once I got food in my system, I was back in action. Those waves of nausea are no joke.
There are so many things that we'd never priced or played with we decided it would be fun to sit in gliders and play with strollers at Babies R Us. We had just arrived and J sat down in this adorable glider. It had great style. I didn't even get to look at the price and I felt like I'd peed my pants. "I need to find the bathroom." Which was at the opposite corner of the store. I hauled ass, afraid of what I'd felt, and my fears proved true - blood. Bright red and staining my jeans. I didn't have any pads, so TP would have to do. I found J playing with a cute plush toy and told him we had to leave. "Why?? What's wrong?" I told him that I couldn't talk about it there and as soon as we hit the car, I lost it. Ugly snotty cries and full hyperventilation.
Did I really just start bleeding upon entering a Babies R Us? How does this stuff happen to me? I wish I was making it up.
It took about a half hour before my doctor called me back. He just so happened to be the doctor on call. In that time we'd driven back north toward home. He gave me what I was expected - directions to lay low. If it got 'heavy' (1-2 pads/hr) to call him or go to urgent care. He also said that unfortunately he was out of the office on Monday, but could see me first thing Tuesday.
TUESDAY!?
The rest of the way home I was transfixed on that day. How on God's green earth could I wait THREE WHOLE DAYS!? I lounged around the house, tried to stay distracted with tv and sulked. I had a couple of heavy wipes and I finally called back just before 9:00 p.m. when I saw what I thought was stringy tissue. Final straw.
Doc Oc called me back and I told him that I was no longer comfortable. I wasn't going to rest, I was anxious, and I needed answers. Do I go and see him or visit the ER? He sent me to the ER and told me to expect a bit of blood work and an ultrasound. He would prove right. He laid things out - there is a chance this could be another miscarriage. But, he was looking at my last ultrasound and things were good, very good, even promising. That I needed to remember that bleeding was common and that many many women go on to have very healthy pregnancies after what can be considered heavy, and prolonged, bleeding.
They pulled me back really quickly, we were only in the waiting room 20 minutes, we had a private room and a great nurse. She even had us laughing a bit and eased our nerves. Unfortunately they decided to place an IV to draw my blood so that it would be there should they need to give me fluids. It was a little too real of a hospital visit for my tastes.
The process took forever. It was 11:30 before she came back and was prepping for my pelvic exam. She left and said she was going to see if the doctor was ready. 45 minutes later another woman enters, but instead of a pelvic exam she had a giant ultrasound machine. Finally. She scanned over the baby a few times looking at my ovaries, kidneys and taking measurements. We saw the baby floating around, arms moving. Was that because she was poking around? Or was our baby alive? The heart wasn't as pronounced this time because it is now within a more formed body. She wasn't still long enough for me to tell if its heart was beating.
Once she slowed down to take the finer measurements, we saw it. The little heart flicker. I lost it. Trying to hold back my sobs so that my belly wouldn't bounce while she was working. Then, she set to measure it, hit a button and wub, wub, wub, wub, wub.... our babies heartbeat. The first time we'd ever heard such a gorgeous sound.
After all the official stuff was over, she took the time to show us the spine, little feet (with itty bitty, but recognizable toes!), and waving arms. Unfortunately the baby decided to curl up toward the end, so that photo we got isn't the best. I couldn't care less.
We have instructions to see Doc Oc on Tuesday for a follow up. I am happy to report that this morning things appear to be tapering off. Much lighter when I wipe and it has taken on a brown tone. I am very interested in answers, but knowing that for now my baby is safe and dancing around, makes a world of difference.
We are both so grateful we decided to go. I am hoping that whatever this is was a fluke. I cannot imagine suffering even longer without knowing. We're all better off with a little less anxiety. Now that energy can be focused on more positive thoughts and getting some rest.
J and I decided to have a productive day. We'd loaded up the SUV to the gills with things to donate. We did a major purge and it felt GREAT. The place where we made the donation is by the biggest mall in the area, so we decided to play for the rest of the afternoon. Impromptu lunch date and then, the highlight, window shopping at Babies R Us.
We ate lunch at a local seafood restaurant. I waited entirely too long to eat and felt like garbage. I was inches from throwing up (cold and sweaty - yuck!) and even feeling lightheaded. J even went to the bar and got me a glass of orange juice to get me through to lunch. Once I got food in my system, I was back in action. Those waves of nausea are no joke.
There are so many things that we'd never priced or played with we decided it would be fun to sit in gliders and play with strollers at Babies R Us. We had just arrived and J sat down in this adorable glider. It had great style. I didn't even get to look at the price and I felt like I'd peed my pants. "I need to find the bathroom." Which was at the opposite corner of the store. I hauled ass, afraid of what I'd felt, and my fears proved true - blood. Bright red and staining my jeans. I didn't have any pads, so TP would have to do. I found J playing with a cute plush toy and told him we had to leave. "Why?? What's wrong?" I told him that I couldn't talk about it there and as soon as we hit the car, I lost it. Ugly snotty cries and full hyperventilation.
Did I really just start bleeding upon entering a Babies R Us? How does this stuff happen to me? I wish I was making it up.
It took about a half hour before my doctor called me back. He just so happened to be the doctor on call. In that time we'd driven back north toward home. He gave me what I was expected - directions to lay low. If it got 'heavy' (1-2 pads/hr) to call him or go to urgent care. He also said that unfortunately he was out of the office on Monday, but could see me first thing Tuesday.
TUESDAY!?
The rest of the way home I was transfixed on that day. How on God's green earth could I wait THREE WHOLE DAYS!? I lounged around the house, tried to stay distracted with tv and sulked. I had a couple of heavy wipes and I finally called back just before 9:00 p.m. when I saw what I thought was stringy tissue. Final straw.
Doc Oc called me back and I told him that I was no longer comfortable. I wasn't going to rest, I was anxious, and I needed answers. Do I go and see him or visit the ER? He sent me to the ER and told me to expect a bit of blood work and an ultrasound. He would prove right. He laid things out - there is a chance this could be another miscarriage. But, he was looking at my last ultrasound and things were good, very good, even promising. That I needed to remember that bleeding was common and that many many women go on to have very healthy pregnancies after what can be considered heavy, and prolonged, bleeding.
They pulled me back really quickly, we were only in the waiting room 20 minutes, we had a private room and a great nurse. She even had us laughing a bit and eased our nerves. Unfortunately they decided to place an IV to draw my blood so that it would be there should they need to give me fluids. It was a little too real of a hospital visit for my tastes.
The process took forever. It was 11:30 before she came back and was prepping for my pelvic exam. She left and said she was going to see if the doctor was ready. 45 minutes later another woman enters, but instead of a pelvic exam she had a giant ultrasound machine. Finally. She scanned over the baby a few times looking at my ovaries, kidneys and taking measurements. We saw the baby floating around, arms moving. Was that because she was poking around? Or was our baby alive? The heart wasn't as pronounced this time because it is now within a more formed body. She wasn't still long enough for me to tell if its heart was beating.
Once she slowed down to take the finer measurements, we saw it. The little heart flicker. I lost it. Trying to hold back my sobs so that my belly wouldn't bounce while she was working. Then, she set to measure it, hit a button and wub, wub, wub, wub, wub.... our babies heartbeat. The first time we'd ever heard such a gorgeous sound.
After all the official stuff was over, she took the time to show us the spine, little feet (with itty bitty, but recognizable toes!), and waving arms. Unfortunately the baby decided to curl up toward the end, so that photo we got isn't the best. I couldn't care less.
We have instructions to see Doc Oc on Tuesday for a follow up. I am happy to report that this morning things appear to be tapering off. Much lighter when I wipe and it has taken on a brown tone. I am very interested in answers, but knowing that for now my baby is safe and dancing around, makes a world of difference.
We are both so grateful we decided to go. I am hoping that whatever this is was a fluke. I cannot imagine suffering even longer without knowing. We're all better off with a little less anxiety. Now that energy can be focused on more positive thoughts and getting some rest.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Preparing
I am doing my best to take advantage of my down time and relax. But, I know that there is such much that I need to start thinking about and doing.
Research Childcare
Learning about cloth diapers
Cleaning out the room that will be the nursery
Shopping for furniture for the nursery
Diaper bags/carriers/car seats/etc
Educating myself more on birth options
Once my morning sickness tapers off (yeah, the last few days have been a regression) I need to focus on a healthy diet - are there super foods I should eat?
etc.
etc.
etc.
Where do I start? Some of these things I feel like are too early to really get into. Is there a good checklist I can follow to help keep me on track? What am I not thinking of? I fear of getting deep into this pregnancy and have forgot something critical (my dream that the baby was born and I hadn't even looked into childcare, that didn't help).
I guess I feel a little lost. I was a pro with the IF piece. I've not spent a lot of time thinking about what would happen if we actually got pregnant. It was too heartbreaking. Now, I'm floundering a bit.
For those of you that have been there, where did you start? I need a place to direct my energy and take on small tasks before I get overwhelmed.
Research Childcare
Learning about cloth diapers
Cleaning out the room that will be the nursery
Shopping for furniture for the nursery
Diaper bags/carriers/car seats/etc
Educating myself more on birth options
Once my morning sickness tapers off (yeah, the last few days have been a regression) I need to focus on a healthy diet - are there super foods I should eat?
etc.
etc.
etc.
Where do I start? Some of these things I feel like are too early to really get into. Is there a good checklist I can follow to help keep me on track? What am I not thinking of? I fear of getting deep into this pregnancy and have forgot something critical (my dream that the baby was born and I hadn't even looked into childcare, that didn't help).
I guess I feel a little lost. I was a pro with the IF piece. I've not spent a lot of time thinking about what would happen if we actually got pregnant. It was too heartbreaking. Now, I'm floundering a bit.
For those of you that have been there, where did you start? I need a place to direct my energy and take on small tasks before I get overwhelmed.
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