How do you know the difference? The past six weeks have been wrought with frustration. Mostly surrounding breast feeding. There are been a few other hiccups that come with having a new baby - figuring out why she's crying, dealing with a lack of sleep, her scare spit-up episode...
The first few weeks I was definitely emotional, would cry at the drop of a hat, and simply exhausted. I was recovering too. Most everything I read says the blues should be gone by now, but I still feel them most days. Most of the time I don't care to get dressed (hellllo yoga pants - again) and it's all I can do to make sure I at least brush my teeth. I've only really left the house for doctors appointments. But, I don't really have any desire to socialize either - going out feels like A LOT of work.
There are times that the extra pumping/breast feeding problems really weigh on me. Living in such restrictive three hour cycles is making me a little nutty. Especially at night, because our routine takes at least an hour of that three hour cycle, so our sleep is really impacted.
Money is really tight for us right now. We just got rid of our rental property and do to so we basically emptied our sizable savings. That stress is added on top of all of the rest because we're facing the added cost of childcare expenses. A friend of ours is helping us out the first few weeks, but not for nearly as long as I'd originally been planning for.
There are some days, honestly, that Lily would already be on formula if it wasn't for the cost. I'm continuing this fight firstly because I know it is what is best for her. If I can get through this rough patch it will mean giving my baby the best start possible. But, on those really hard days when I want to say 'Screw it! I was formula fed and I'm FINE!' the added cost plays a part too. I have to go back to work in a month. I need to work out my breast feeding issues because I want to start building a freezer supply.
There is an ongoing pity party in my mind too. WHY must everything be so difficult? Why did it take me almost 4 years to meet our baby? Why did I have to be the one with the two and a half day labor? Why did I get mastitis and thrush at the same time? Why do I now have problem breast feeding? Couple the pity party with the other stresses in my life and some days I just want to quit.
How do I know the difference? Do I wait for my six weeks appt, or see my doc now? Really, I hope it passes because I do not want another thing to keep me from relaxing and enjoying our baby.
But instead, like right now, I am going to stop what I'm doing and go hold my baby - she just woke up. The rest will just have to sort itself out.