Thursday, September 27, 2012

Baby Blues VS. PPD

How do you know the difference? The past six weeks have been wrought with frustration. Mostly surrounding breast feeding. There are been a few other hiccups that come with having a new baby - figuring out why she's crying, dealing with a lack of sleep, her scare spit-up episode...

The first few weeks I was definitely emotional, would cry at the drop of a hat, and simply exhausted. I was recovering too. Most everything I read says the blues should be gone by now, but I still feel them most days. Most of the time I don't care to get dressed (hellllo yoga pants - again) and it's all I can do to make sure I at least brush my teeth. I've only really left the house for doctors appointments. But, I don't really have any desire to socialize either - going out feels like A LOT of work.

There are times that the extra pumping/breast feeding problems really weigh on me. Living in such restrictive three hour cycles is making me a little nutty. Especially at night, because our routine takes at least an hour of that three hour cycle, so our sleep is really impacted.

Money is really tight for us right now. We just got rid of our rental property and do to so we basically emptied our sizable savings. That stress is added on top of all of the rest because we're facing the added cost of childcare expenses. A friend of ours is helping us out the first few weeks, but not for nearly as long as I'd originally been planning for.

There are some days, honestly, that Lily would already be on formula if it wasn't for the cost. I'm continuing this fight firstly because I know it is what is best for her. If I can get through this rough patch it will mean giving my baby the best start possible. But, on those really hard days when I want to say 'Screw it! I was formula fed and I'm FINE!' the added cost plays a part too. I have to go back to work in a month. I need to work out my breast feeding issues because I want to start building a freezer supply. 

There is an ongoing pity party in my mind too. WHY must everything be so difficult? Why did it take me almost 4 years to meet our baby? Why did I have to be the one with the two and a half day labor? Why did I get mastitis and thrush at the same time? Why do I now have problem breast feeding? Couple the pity party with the other stresses in my life and some days I just want to quit.

How do I know the difference? Do I wait for my six weeks appt, or see my doc now? Really, I hope it passes because I do not want another thing to keep me from relaxing and enjoying our baby.

But instead, like right now, I am going to stop what I'm doing and go hold my baby - she just woke up. The rest will just have to sort itself out.


  1. So, I do believe that if you've hit 6 weeks and you're still feeling "blue" you may be entering PPD territory and should seek help. But I also strongly suggest you get out of the house! On days when I am just so stressed and overwhelmed getting out of the house helps IMMENSELY! Strap the baby on your chest and just go! Doesn't matter where you go, just go! It also seems to be calming and relaxing for baby to get out and have a change of scenery as well, some days he seems particularly fussy and leaving the house instantly calms him!

    Good luck, motherhood is hard for all of us, you're not alone!

  2. After I had Orion, I felt terrible. We had an awful time breast feeding and I felt so blaaaaaaah. I thought I was never going to be happy again. I cried at the smallest things and had no energy to do anything. I had zero appetite. It was only two weeks after having him, but I felt so wrong I called my doctor and went in to see her. She gave me a referral to a psychologist and told me to call to make an appointment and if I felt better before then I could always cancel. Luckily, I was able to cancel the appointment as I started to feel normal again, but I would say I didn't feel 100% myself until 12 weeks. All of that to say, call your doctor! Even if it is just the blues, you'll feel better talking to someone. Reading your post reminds me of how I was at that time. It can be especially hard for people like us because you bust your butt to have a baby and then when you don't feel like yourself you feel even worse. It's not easy being a new mom! I hope you feel better soon. If you feel like talking to a total internet stranger, feel free to email me jenny72982 at g mail.

  3. If you're doubting it, definitely call your Dr. A month pp I had to call mine and ask the nurse if it was normal for me to still be crying every day. She said definitely not. I hope that you start to feel better soon. I went on Zoloft and that helped me, although I know that not everyone is open to meds.

  4. There is a self assessment you can do if you google PND Test & edinborough you can self test. I don't know what you have in the states but if there is a maternal health nurse you can speak to I strongly advise it. The best thing is that you sense something isn't right and want to do something about it x

  5. I just delivered a girl on the 27th August so I kinda know how you feel. Sometimes I fell asleep during BF and when I woke up the baby was gone coz it was picked up by my husband and I didn't even realize it!. Then I took extra vitamins- b complex, fish oil, post natal formula, vitamin c and my energy picked up. Watched comedies while nursing. I have a small nipple fissure on left breast. It's tough. I hate it when I read the entertainment news that all the celebs make motherhood appears easy peasy

  6. Id say go talk to your doc - no use missing out on even two more weeks of your daughter's life because you're feeling sad and struggling with this. Hang in there Sarah!!