Sunday, March 25, 2012

Lacking an Identity

I've been thinking recently about taking some time away or stopping the blog entirely.

Last week, I talked to Jeremy about it. "But you love it and it's helped you so much." was his response. And he's right! This blog has been such an outlet for me. I've 'met' so many women struggling with infertility at such different stages in their journey.

I've shared the ups, down, and the tears - both happy and sad. I've received such great support when I needed it the most.

But that's what it was for me - a blog about infertility. Of course that is exactly how I still think of myself, infertile. Even now that I'm looking at being halfway through my pregnancy. But I'm not blogging about my struggles with infertility right now - and I am so grateful to have made it to that next step. But, I'm not really a mommy blogger either.

I knew it would happen, but it did make me sad to see that my traffic took a huge it after we got pregnant. It was a bit discouraging to continue to share. I know what it feels like to see other women struggle and then move on to be only puppies, rainbows, and unicorns about their getting to move on. I knew that people perhaps wouldn't identify anymore and would move on to other blogs.

And perhaps since things are going smoothly for the time being, I just don't have a lot to say or share. Most days I'm just giddy and so very grateful. But I don't feel as though I can come here anymore to just blather on about how wonderful my life feels right now.

I feel like I've lost my voice. Even this post doesn't have a real point, which is probably fitting considering my frame of mind.

I'm certainly not looking for, "No, please stay!", but perhaps you've been there? How do you transition from one stage to the next?


  1. I've been watching, reading and keeping an eye on how you've been but haven't been active in commenting. First, a BIG congratulations! I know how you feel - I've been there. I'm still there.

    Once I became pregnant it seemed a lot less people talked to me and a lot less people responded to my blog. I felt horrible.

    Overall I decided to make another blog for the "new" part of life beyond infertility, even though I'll always be an infertile. It never leaves. I don't get many views, have a lot of followers but it's a blog for me now. Although I haven't updated it forever (I should) now it's to just talk about family, record milestones, etc.

    It's all up to you on what you want to do next. I know I missed blogging. I do miss people actually talking to me and supporting me often, but at least I can record what I want still. I hope that makes sense. Been a long day LOL.

  2. I'm not going to lie, as I struggle to conceive, it's a little hard when other bloggers get their BFP. That being said, I do enjoy reading your blog and will continue to follow you for as long as you continue blogging. It's nice to see that rainbow at the end of the storm, and that's what it ultimately feels like when I see TTC blogs turn into pregnancy blogs. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best! :-)

  3. Join PAIL!!
    We all feel lost for a time, but I'd be SO sad if you quit blogging, right when we finally get to hear more about the joy and happiness in your life!

  4. This blog can be whatever you need or want it to be. That's the great thing. You may lose a few followers that have a hard time reading pregnancy posts, but you'll gain some others who are looking to read one about pregnancy (& infertility).
    When I was pregnant I had decided that my blog would move with me. I would continue to write my journey no matter what that journey was. It was infertility, than pregnancy, than loss. Now it is some of all of those.
    I would encourage you to write about whatever you want to write about. If you are content and happy, write about that! This is your space.

    That is my 2 cents.

    1. I agree. You don't write for the followers. You write for you! So write about it and love it and own it.

  5. Both Mel and MissC have talked about this. You need to identify what blogging is for you. If you blog as an outlet, a way to share your journey, then please continue to do so. But if you're blogging for followers, you need to change your blog to fit your audience.

    Honestly, when pregnant or parenting after infertility, it's common to lose followers. People read what they can relate to. Makes sense that someone in the trenches who is suffering from negative results or miscarriage would not be able to relate to someone talking about the discomforts of pregnancy or motherhood. That said, I think there is a way to write that everyone can relate to. Life happens and we can all share some experiences.

    Either way, do what's best for you. I've been following along and I will continue to do so.

  6. Hi Mrs S--I understand where you're coming from, but from one still infertile to hard as it is sometimes to read sucess stories and feel like I'm still "stick in the pile of infertiles", I also enjoy reading others success stories. It gives me hope that one day, we'll be on the next journey too. I really hope you continue blogging as I've always enjoyed reading yours :)

  7. Im an infertile who likes to read about all sides of the journey and I cant possibley be alone in that. :) I still follow!

  8. Thank you, ladies. I appreciate your insight. I've always written for me and not worried about being a 'popular' blogger or anything. But part of what I enjoy is the conversation. You're all right though, just like anything it will ebb and flow.

    Thank you again. I appreciate each of you!!