Saturday, October 6, 2012


Watching Lily learn is amazing. It isn't always anything grand, but watching her do things like discover the mobile on her swing... it makes my world. Making simple facial expressions and having her mimic them? I squeal! Laying her on her activity mat and watching her smile at herself in the mirror and reach up and hit the toys? I almost cried. Singing her songs and her locking eyes with J or I and smiling - I could die happy in those moments.

These little moments, where she discovers something we've overlooked a thousand times... they're simply priceless.

Even with our trip through breast feeding hell. It's been almost a week since her tongue was clipped and each day she's improving. Sometimes you can see her get frustrated. Her brow gets furrowed and she drops my nipple, but the next latch or the one after - it's less frequent. Even when it is frustrating, it is amazing. The little pieces are forming and fitting together. Each coo and grasp, her stares are more focused and less vacant.

Every tiny moment brings such wonder and joy to my life. I simply cannot fathom our little family without her.

4 years ago we started on our path to Lily. 4 years ago we ditched the pill and started dreaming of these days. (funny how 4 years later, within a week, I'm going back on the pill..) The dreams I dreamed don't come close to the feelings I have watching her discover our world. I couldn't have imagined that this level of awesome could exist.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't always easy, but every moment is worth the years it took to bring her to us. Each moment of joy with her erases one of pain and frustration that we experienced bringing her to us. That path taught me so much about myself, my body, my relationships... and now she teaches me more about life every day.

I love this little girl more than the world itself.

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