Thursday, October 18, 2012

Settling In Only to Change Again

Just as we start to find our stride as a pair, I am now preparing to go back to work. Next week will be my last week of leave. Noooooo!

Breast feeding is going much better. It isn't always perfect, but I think we've found a groove we can sustain. Each night J gives Lily a bottle (or two) while I pump and it gives me a little break. Also, my supply is doing so well! During one of my pumping sessions on Tuesday - I got 6 ounces! It feels so amazing to be storing away milk in the freezer, when a couple weeks ago I couldn't produce enough to feed her a full meal. Amazing what a little stick-to-itness will get you. Or, I probably should say, amazing what being to damn stubborn to quit when people tell you that you don't have to fight so hard... that's another story. We're doing great! I have over 60 ounces in the freezer and feeling good about my stash.

Quick question: How much milk was in your freezer stash when you went back to work? How did you store it, in what quantities?

As I mentioned, I head back to work the week of 10/29. It will be a fairly relaxed week back (Monday: off, Tues/Wed: half days from home, Thursday: half day in office, Friday: full day in office). I am hoping to regularly work from home at least one day a week going forward. Perhaps even looking into a 4x10's situation, but we'll see, that can make for some long days.

I am feeling ready to return. I've always thought that I would want to be a stay at home mom if I could, but after being on leave, I just don't think that it is for me. I didn't realize before that I found such a sense of pride and got so much satisfaction/happiness from a job well done, exceeding goals, and getting praise for my work. I'm competitive and my drive just isn't satisfied at home. Don't get me wrong, staying home is HARD WORK. Maybe that's part of it, it's too hard. lol But, it also isn't an option for our family, so maybe it's also what I tell myself to make going back okay. I am going to miss Lily like crazy during the day. If I could strap her to my back and take her with me, I totally would.

Luckily, I love my coworkers. I work with an amazing group of super supportive women (and one guy). They're great leaders and I am learning a ton every day. Plus, frankly, I kick ass at my job. My last reviews have been the best I've ever had. And to have people you admire so greatly tell you that you're awesome? Yeah, I'll take it. Daily.

I am a bit anxious about what our new routine will look like. It takes us forever to get out the door right now and J and I both work early shifts (6:00 - 2:30 for me). We also each work about 40 minutes away from home. So that means I would get up at (wait for it...) 3:50 a.m. Now, I will have to nurse Lily, etc and I'll probably be looking at getting up at about 3:30 a.m. At least... ::breathsintopaperbag::

Fake it 'til you make it, right?

Just as we start to get used to each other and find our grove, the setting changes. Time to relearn and adapt to a new way.  

Times, they are a changin'


  1. Whoa, that is some EARLY mornings. Lily is going to be an early to bed girl with a morning routine like that!

    I had maybe 15oz in the freezer when I went back to work. I pumped at work and sent that much to daycare the next day... the freezer stash was in case of emergencies (I always left one 4oz frozen bag at daycare for that purpose), but really, if you're pumping as often as she normally nurses (for me at 8weeks, that was every 2.5 hrs, so I'd pump 10am/12:30pm/3pm), then you should only have to send on Tuesday what you pumped on Monday. It took me awhile to figure that out - they would give her as much as I sent, so if I pumped 12 but sent 16, she'd eat 16. It didn't occur to me that I was sabotaging my supply by doing that, b/c then she wasn't as hungry at night and wasn't nursing as much (which was dropping my supply). SO, point being, send what you pump and no more. the only exception to that is if you're sick/dehydrated and your supply is artificially low for a day - sometimes I'd send an extra bottle then, but really, you should send what you pump. Stella is at daycare from 8am-5:30pm. I used to send 12-16oz in the beginning...then only 12 (I nursed her right before and right after) only 8 (and she eats a solid meal at lunch).

    Both GREAT resources for pumping questions.

    I never freeze more than 4oz in a bag (even though they take 6), b/c even at 10.5 months, Stella never eats more than 4oz at a time, and I'd cry if that milk went to waste! 4oz freezer bags means I can thaw one for a bottle whenever I need.

    Also, I HIGHLY recommend getting the layflat Lansinoh freezer bags. The stand up Medela bags take up a shitload of room and if you continue to build your stash (I have 300+ oz now), space it at a premium.

  2. I had maybe 75oz in teh freezer. I didn't use any of it for months.
    good luck going back!

  3. Wow! That is an early morning for you all! I guess you will just ease into it and find your new normal.
    I don't have any suggestions for BF/pumping yet, but I know that you will want to pump at work during the times you would feed her obviously.
    I wish you the best in going back to work, it will be hard at first but if it's something you find pride in, I think you will be happy you went back.

  4. Wow! Crazy early morning!
    I was thinking about how my morning routine will be crazy and require a regimented schedule.