Thursday, December 10, 2009

Baby Jillian

Our little internet community has suffered another awful loss this year. Baby Jillian was born at about 24 weeks and she lived only 4 days. The world just isn't fair. Sometimes I just don't understand at all how the universe can be SO cruel. I really like to believe that everything happens for a reason, but what could the reason possibly be!?

These recent loses have impacted me much more than I thought they would or could. More than through the rest of my IF experience, I'm scared. I haven't always handled our current struggles as well as I think I could have and it is always a learning experience. However, I'm not sure that I could handle what these women have been subjected to. I want to stay home, snuggle with my lovely husband and just cry for their loss. How they manage to function on a daily basis is admirable. They are so strong. I honestly do not think I would handle it a fraction as well as they have. What if after this long road, we lose what we've tried, prayed and dreamed so hard for?

You ladies are inspiring.

Jillian, thank you for looking out over all of us. We are grateful for your guidance and grace.

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