Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I feel another month coming to an end.

My optimism for this month has faded with the temp drop this morning. Yes, it appears I ovulated for potentially the first time and for that I am grateful. Baby steps. (Pun intended. Ha. Ha.) Our timing was appropriate and my chart wasn't as awful as the rest. Unfortunately that simply served to stir up my hopes. Make plans in my mind for how wonderful it would be to give this to my husband for Christmas. To be able to tell my Mom (whos 50th birthday is tomorrow), that she will be a grandmother.

Why do I do that to myself each month? Make these plans? Build up these expectations? You'd think I'd have learned by now. But, no.

I've made wishes on the first star of the night.
I've wished on clock patterns (something silly I've done since I was a kid).
Blown out birthday candles.
Held my breath in tunnels.
Crossed my fingers.
And I only put one thing on my Christmas list.

Maybe next year...

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry. TTC is one of the most emotionally draining, awful processes, I don't care what people say. Hang in there, I am praying for you!