How do you stop comparing yourself to where you could be?
How do you stop seeing other women achieve milestones and think of what could have been? That it should be you? Not in place of them, but you too.
How do you stop looking at the calendar and imagine where your life could be right now? How not only could you know the gender of your child right now, but that by now this could have been the gender of your second child.
How do you see your friends, the people you love, go on with their lives and leave you behind? Again.
How do you celebrate with them when you don't even feel like you can look them in the eye? For two reasons, you're not sure that you can handle to see them smile in person, and you don't want to steal that smile away because they feel sorry for you.
How do you keep other peoples joy from from stealing your breath?
How do you stop comparing at all? It's stealing my attempts to find joy.