I saw a couple of friends from high school last week. I haven't seen them in a couple of years. We had a nice lunch and it was really fun catching up. Since I am the only one of the three of us that is married, inevitably the question came up - 'When are you and J going to have babies??'
My mind is in such a better place right now. Gone, for the moment, is the bitter and jaded. I knew both mentally, and emotionally for once, that they were asking because they loved us and thought us having babies was an excellent idea. I wasn't upset at all. While I didn't go into a long drawn out 'We've been trying with little success' explanation, I did say that having babies won't be quite as easy for us. That because of something I have called PCOS we'll more than likely need to have some intervention, because I don't have 'regular' cycles. But, that we both would love to have children. And I left it at that. One of them said that she was sorry to hear that and she knows we'll just appreciate what we have that much more, once it happens.
I talked about it. Without tears. To someone other than my husband, mom, or BFF.
I'm just going to go ahead and mark that one in the win column. J and I chatted recently and decided that should it come up in conversation with our friends or family that we're going to talk about it. We're not going to walk into a party with everyone we know and make a grand announcement or anything, but when the subject comes up and the time is right, we're done living in the closet. With some we'll probably be more vague, like I was with the girlfriends I haven't seen in awhile, and with others (J's parents? ::shudder::) they probably won't let us off the hook that easy. We're lucky to have a big network of family and friends and have a couple extra positive thoughts/vibes/prayers out there certainly isn't going to hurt anything. I'm prepared now to take on the bad advice and stupid things people say because I know they're just trying to help. (remind me of this when I want to pull my hair out or hide from my MIL - kthanks)
Maybe there is something to this 'relax' business? (Please don't beat me up.) I certain feel better. I needed this break and I know I'm not ready for it to end yet. For now I'm going to focus my energy on continuing to get healthy and on sending my thoughts and prayers to all of you. Those that are in the middle of treatments, just getting started, and those that already have that precious cargo on board. Love and hugs to you all. I'm pulling for you!