During the past two years there have been quite a few times when work and IF conflicted. How can I schedule all of these (mostly last minute) appointments around a busy work schedule? Especially without giving my boss the full 411? How do you deal with crushing news or other disappointments when you're busy delivering performance reviews and coaching your employees for their shitty attendance? It hasn't always been easy. That's for sure.
Today I was tried again. I held a regularly scheduled meeting with one of my employees. We cover some basics first (reports, blah blah) and then I ask her how things are going for her. Pretty standard stuff really. Usually folks tell me that they need some additional training on This, or wonder if they can take This Day off, really exciting stuff, I'm telling you. Instead she tells me, "It could be better. :insert boyfriends name: and I were chatting the end of last week about our future. We're kind of in different places. He already has kids, been divorced, and doesn't really have an interest in starting a new family and someday I do." (She's 27 I believe...) "Well. There might be a baby. My period should be here on Friday and I was feeling a little off, so I took two pregnancy tests yesterday and they were both positive."
At this point I'm kind of stunned. I even asked her, "Are we excited about this?" She said that she'd always wanted a baby, but this wasn't how she thought it would happen. She hadn't been to the doctor yet, she was running over there on her lunch break to confirm. I barely made it through our chat. Playing down all that I know about this process while she yammers on ignorantly. I hope I played it cool enough. I congratulated her and told her that if she needed anything she could always count on me, and so on...
Remember when I told you about unloading on my HR lady? Well, as soon a Employee left my desk, I called her. "I'm having a personal/work crisis. Are you available?" "Get your butt up here." was her response. I love her.
I unloaded again - no tears though - YAY me! How come I do everything I can to do things the 'right way' for no reason? I work my ass off. I've always gotten good grades, for the most part followed the rules, bought my first house at 20, really got to know my husband before we were married, I pay my bills on time, put forth my best at work everyday, etc, etc, etc and I can never catch a break. I never get to take the easy route. Then there are those that have to do everything the hard way, can't even show up to work on time, make stupid life choices, are incredibly immature, and are dating a guy that doesn't want the same things they do... OF COURSE they get a baby they didn't even want yet. I mean that makes total sense. ::rolls eyes::
I know it isn't right, but I think I'm judging her more because of her circumstances. She can't seem to ever get it together, and honestly it never seemed like she was trying. I really want to be happy for her and I think somewhere down there I am. But the other part of me is still pissed off.
Has anyone experienced this? Part of me is really happy that I've built such a rapport with her that she feels comfortable talking to me about this stuff. The other part of me? Wonders why the hell she would tell her boss that she's knocked up before she's even confirmed it with a doctor? I guess it goes back to that immaturity thing.
I really do wish her all the best. I just wish I didn't have to be put in these situations. Why do I have to deal with it at all? I hope someday I learn the purpose of all of this.
To wrap this up I will share a text convo I had with a friend:
Me: ::insert abbreviated version of above explanation::
S: ::insert super sweet stuff:: Is she going to keep it? If not, one of us can take it :)
Me: lol, yeah I think she plans to. Punk.
S: Damn. You can always snatch it later ;-)
I love having funny friends that get me.