Friday, November 4, 2011

Another Pregnancy

A close friend of Jeremy's and his wife have been trying for about 6 months. They've suffered through two early miscarriages/chemical pregnancies. She is now 6 weeks pregnant.

I am so happy for our friends. Happy and hopeful that they will get a full term healthy and happy baby.

I'm also struggling. I know it is so so so wrong to be jealous that they've been pregnant 3 times in 6 months.

I am grateful that I was working late when J had dinner with them to get the good news.

Working through these conflicts is a tricky, tricky, beast. Thrilled for them, jealous and sad for me. Crazy with a side of nutso, welcome to my world.

Meanwhile I will just fester in my wave of crazy while I pray for their babies health and for our future. Oh, and have a cocktail with my friends because it's Friday and we're headed out for the weekend. Yes, that will definitely help!

TGIF my dear friends.


  1. I so understand that feeling. It's one of the f*ed up things of IF...the jealousy. Every part of the ALI community is hard though. One of my closest friends is 13w behind me, and they too were pregnant 3 times in 6 months (the 3rd pregnancy "stuck")...obviously it's hard to not be able to STAY pregnant, but there were times I definitely just wished to at least know my body COULD get pregnant. It's hard. This whole journey is hard. Hang in there...

  2. I know it's not the same (AT ALL) but I recently found out I failed the bar exam and these feelings are exactly the same as the ones I'm having right now. I think the situation changes, but the struggle of jealousy remains the same. I think it's completely normal (but hard) to want things to be as "easy" for you as they appear to be for others. The unfairness of the world eats me up sometimes.

  3. Crazy with a side of nutso is how most infertiles feel. Hopefully your friends will show empathy and sympathy and tread lightly on the subject. After my 3rd loss a close friend became pregnant with her second. She knows that the hardest part for me is pregnant women (especially those who complain about EVERYTHING) She spoke to me biweekly and never talked about anything pregnancy related. I didn't see her for 10 months and I never missed her for a day due to her want to keep me happy as well and the effort that she took to see that want through. Now her little guy is here and I can't be anything but happy for her.

    I wish that everything turns out for you.

  4. I totally get this. Even when someone I know has miscarried and gets pregnant again right away on their own, I get jealous because I know if/when that happens to me, it will take IVF to conceive again. The shots, the pills, and the possible bedrest is so crappy.
    I am like you in that I never wish a loss on anyone, but I AM envious that I can't just get pregnant again when I want without a ton of extra work.

    All the feelings you are having are normal (in IF land). And boy am I right there with you.