Tuesday, August 10, 2010


I haven't checked in on this subject in awhile, mostly because I've not gained any progress. I am maintaining, but barely. I know that a general side effect of hormonal meds is weight gain, so while I've been eating okay (could be a bit better) I'm not losing anymore.

It doesn't help that every weekend there is another event - camping, wedding, bachelorette party, birthday party, etc. I do NOT behave well at those events. I can't help it! I'm friends with a lot of skinny chicks and guys. Basically people that can eat whatever they want and look great. Bitches. I unconsciously go along without much thought until the next day when I beat myself up 'WHY did I snack all evening!? Why?!' Not. Worth. It. Except for when it is worth it - like a s'more when you're camping. That doesn't count. ;)

J made a comment tonight after dinner when I said I could go for the smallest something sweet. (My mind went immediately to a jolly rancher or something small.) I remembered that I had this delicious diet root beer that is made with Splenda instead of aspartame. So I asked J if he would share a float with me. In my mind it was a great choice - zero carbs and calories in the soda and if I used 1 scoop of vanilla that would be the only calories/carbs to worry about (150/16). Then we would share it! Decent choice, right? Well, I thought so.

J said 'I don't want to be a douche, but I'm worried that you're not making good choices. You get so down on yourself when you gain weight. You can kind of be a Debbie Downer.' Ouch. I know he was coming from a good place and it was probably hard for him to say, but it was even harder to hear. The hardest part is that he can eat WHATEVER HE WANTS. But then I can't. It's not a big deal for him to grab a pizza if he's busy and running around. But I have to plan my meals and count calories/carbs. It's a crappy double standard. It sucks! As always I'm going to try to be better. Number 1 on that agenda - more frequent exercise. We're really busy all the time, but I wouldn't say we're active. I've got to kick that up a notch.

That's where I am - The Land of Same Ol', Same Ol'.


  1. I totally hear ya on this... If I don't calorie count, I'm creeping up in #s every week, while hubby eats pizza and drink beer, and every once in awhile says "aren't you going to work out this morning?"

    So frustrating to not be "naturally" thin. *sigh*

    Thanks for the reminder to get back on it - we can do this!

  2. Oh, I'm awful at eating. Social events are the worst!! I feel ya!!