Okay, in reality only one additional person knows now that we are TTC. J's best friend E.
While we were in full baby shower swing for R, J was having a beer with his buddy. They've been best friends for about 17 years. Apparently they had quite the little heart to heart yesterday. E and his girlfriend have been discussing, with some seriousness, the idea of getting married. I think they are really good together and wouldn't be surprised at all if this happened in the near future. J also decided to share with E that we are actively TTC. Honestly, I'm not mad that he knows. I think it will be great for J to have someone to talk to. I know it is helps me to have R and my BOTB lovelies when the going gets tough. I'm not sure that E can really relate, but at least J has a safe place to vent. I just hope that E understands that we do NOT want this to be public knowledge.
More than anything, I don't want people to know because I don't want to constantly have to explain myself, talk about the fact it has almost been a year with no success, or to hear peoples unsolicited advice (Oh what I would do to someone if I had to hear the words 'it'll happen when you stop trying' or 'just relax'...). Since we have started TTC it seems that everyone in my life (but me of course...) is expecting or recently given birth. Even those that were told the chances were slim to none. It may be irrational, but what I don't want to hear is how we're 'now' trying because everyone else is. This isn't some fad we hopped into because we thought it'd be a fun whim. I've heard similar things said about others and I want no part of that business.
E is a really good friend. He's done nothing but be there for J, and me, and if IF is something that we do struggle from (and not just post-bc/bad timing craziness...), I know it will be hard on J. I am really grateful that J will have someone to lean on. Someone that always has had his back. Let's just hope he doesn't go getting a buzz and letting his little loose lips spill the beans to everyone else we know.