I'm not proud of my emotional response, but this place has been all about honesty, so I'm letting it all hang out there...
Another Facebook pregnancy announcement was made today. Instead of my usual sad sigh, I was livid. Why her? I've know K for about 10 years. She's annoying, flaky, immature, and irresponsible. She is also obese and has chronic health problems. (She once had the hots for my husband...) Her and her husband have not even been married a year and she is due this fall. That means they can't have been trying long at all.
Why her? Mostly, why her and not me??
My face got red.
My heart started to race.
My jaw was clenched.
I was angry. Pissed.
I wanted to put my fist through something.
This isn't the first announcement I've seen on Facebook. Why did hers solicit such a harsh emotional response?
Why did that child choose her and not us? Maybe because she doesn't sit around saying awful things about other people?? (do you love how I can have this conversation all by myself?)
What did I do wrong? My weight isn't that bad, not as bad as hers. I have a great, strong, time-tested relationship. We're financially stable and responsible with our money. Fun. We give back. Loyal to our family and friends. WHY?
Just a few of the many questions I have. Many questions I will never have answers to.
I would like to formally ban pregnancy announcements on Facebook. At least until I get to make one of my own.
I know that none of these thoughts are particularly nice of me. In fact, they're pretty ugly. I also understand that sharing these thoughts could make me come off like a judgy bitch. Selfish. Hateful. Unfair. I would apologize, but I'm not perfect. I just hope I can learn from these moments and be better next time.