A few weeks back I had a really good conversation with my BFF and partner in most crimes, R. She said something that really stuck with me: that in the past year and half she really hasn't been sure how to be my friend. She went on to explain that if I had cancer or a broken limb she could care for me and nurse me back to health, but instead there is nothing she can do to help my suffering. I imagine this is true for a lot of women who have friends struggling with IF. Do you ask how things or going or just wait for her to come to you? Offer advice? Talk about your own family?
R is blessed in a number of ways, but most recently in that she and her husband conceived a grand total of 27 seconds after deciding to try to have a second child. She said it was almost like having survivors guilt knowing that she made it while so many others are struggling.
So, how can you be friends with a girl like me? Well, R was right. There isn't a damn thing you can do to make this better or to cure what ails me. I certainly wish it was that easy. Do I want you to ask me how I'm doing? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. There isn't one right answer I suppose. Every woman wants/needs something a little different. For me it may be an open door, humor, and a timely glass of red wine. For another it may be something else entirely. But, at the end of the day, a good friend makes all the difference in the world.
Poor R. A whole 27 seconds after deciding to have a second child? Seriously, Mrs. S. You're making me giggle :-)
ReplyDelete::whispers:: Come down with R. You know you want to.