Why do I allow myself to do it? (I have gotten to the point where I no longer dream about nursery planning or names, but only because my mind functionally cannot work past the getting pregnant part first.)
Why did I allow myself to dream about the ways I would wake up my husband and tell him that he's going to be a father?
About how I'd stay and have breakfast with him, in bed, and go in late to work?
About being one of the lucky IF'ers I've heard about this month?
About calling the doctor and getting a blood test and beta's checked? (I have sexy daydreams, no?)
Calling my friend and saying 'Good morning Auntie!'
Fuck this game. It sucks.
I really feel you there and I'm sorry that you're going through all this pain. My husband doesn't like when I say "fairy tales don't come true" which has been how I've felt about IF lately. I've said many times "there is no happily ever after". IF makes us become so negative sometimes :(
ReplyDeleteI am so so sorry. Every month it's like a whole new hurt. Lots of prayers and hugs...
ReplyDeleteBecause without our dreams, we lose all hope. With out our dreams we don't experience the true joy when it finally comes because we are caught in a web of negativity.
ReplyDeleteWhen you quit dreaming anything positive, you've given up and that's not fair to you or your husband at this point.
Keep dreaming sweet girl. Dreams do come true. As Cinderella would say " A dream is a wish your heart makes" and your heart is still brimming with love and hope. HUGS