Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Others

No, I'm not talking about The Others from Lost.

So often when discussing IF, you talk about the couple directly being impacted by the struggle. Sally's bum ladybits, or Joe's lazy swimmers, etc. My struggle to conceive a child impacts me a great deal, sure, but that's fairly obvious by now. What I haven't talked about too much is the impact I know it is having on everyone else. My Mom, who I know would just love to be a grandmother. My sister, who would most certainly be the 'Cool Aunt'. My grandmothers, who voice pretty consistently that they are not willing to settle on being Great Grandmothers to only our pups. My friends, who love and care for both J and I, as well as our yet-to-be-conceived babe.

It is those latter folks, the family-we-choose, that I want to chat about today. Those people, impacted directly with IF or not, that stand by your side, sometimes awkwardly. Unsure of what to say, and how or if to ask you about your latest appointment. Sometimes they say the right thing, sometimes they don't, but through it all they've stood by your side. I am incredibly lucky to have a couple of those in my life. One of them is Rachel. Today Rachel posted an entry on her blog, With Roots and Wings, talking about stifling her hope. It was this article that inspired me to write here today. I love her for being a realist when I need to hear it, and a cheerleader when I'm feeling blue, and mostly for loving me no matter how broken or jaded I am.

What I'm getting at is, take a moment to appreciate the Rachel in your life. As important as it is to address the stress and emotions we feel everyday, we don't want to take advantage of those pillars of strength we have in our lives. Taking a moment to acknowledge that this sucks a little bit for them too. That they feel a bit of our disappointment too. But most importantly, they help us carry our burden. They lift a little of that heavy weight from our shoulders.

I love you, Rachel. Thank you for just being you.