Things go from bad to worse
You'd think they can't get worse than that
And then they do
Thank you Rodney Atkins for the quote above.
I woke up in the wee hours (because I always get up in the middle of the night to pee) and since it was too close to my wake up time, I tested. Results? AF. Yup, as soon as I peed in the damn cup and wiped, I saw red. frickengoshdarnmothereffingstupidperiod! So as is probably obvious by now, my results of said pee test were a big fat negative.
Have I cried? Nope. Before I left I went back and laid on the bed as J was waking up and told him. He rubbed my back and told me all the things he's supposed to. 'At least you ovulated.' 'If you think about it, now that you're finally ovulating, we're really only just getting started.' That last one sucked. I know he didn't mean it that way, but UGGGGGH. JUST GETTING STARTED!? I'm not sure I like that... at all.
Thank you to all of you who were thinking your positive thoughts and saying your prayers for us this month. I appreciate it more than you know. I hope that soon I will get all of those prayers answered.
But as the aforementioned Rodney Atkins says:
If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there
Wasn't that a beauty of a song to listen to right as I started the car this morning? I thought it was fitting. In fact the whole set of lyrics was pretty fitting.
I'm so sorry. I know nothing I say will help, but I am thinking about you today.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear. It blows so much!! My body usually loves to show AF a few hours after I test. Doesn't it figure our bodies treat us like that?
ReplyDeleteThere is an added side benefit to stifling hope - there's plenty left.
ReplyDeleteI will remind you of this:
"The most beautiful people we have known are
those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Not all people who know difficulty in life become "beautiful people", only those who face it with grace. Only those who laugh and cry through it, who allow themselves to be transformed by the experience, who learn and love and become stronger after the dark. Only people like you. You will get through this. This day, this cycle, this experience. You will get through it and when you do you will know that you can do ANYTHING. I love you.
I'm sorry sweetie. I will continue to pray for you this coming cycle. I'm told that Southern Baptist prayers work. They forgot to give me a time frame on that though. HUGS.
ReplyDelete