Waiting.

The waiting game never ends.

I have an update to give and I'm trying to stay positive while I give it.

After our little bleeding episode we had my blood checked to see whether or not I was RH-. We know from my last update that I am not. That was good news. The other information my nurse call to tell me was that they also ran my beta's again (I didn't know they were going to) and it was 14,100. The night before (about 12 hours earlier when we were in for the bleed) I was 14,600.

The nurse talked to me and said it could be a lot of things - a random swing in hormone levels, a vanishing twin, or miscarriage. Needless to say, I had a royal panic attack. I'm talking snotty ugly cry with a side of hyperventilation for good measure. Not my finest moment. Friday morning I had calmed down a good deal. All hope was certainly not lost and for Sprout's sake, I needed to stay positive.

Somehow I survived a (thankfully busy) work day and we decided to try to go into the doctors office a bit early and see if we could get fit in. They got us in right away. We did my vitals and she went to grab Doc Oc for an ultrasound. Feet in the stirrups, my old friend the Dildo Cam and I got familiar again.

Immediately Doc Oc saw what he thought were two sacs. As we continued to move around it appeared that the 'second sac' was more than likely not a sac, but a subchorionic hemorrhage. It most likely was caused by the implanting of the placenta. Unfortunately we couldn't tell if it was the 'second sac' we thought we saw or if it was blocking our view.

The first sac measured about 5 1/2 weeks. He mentioned that sac measurements are not the greatest to base gestation off of because they can vary so wildly. Unfortunately there wasn't anything else to see and measure. It was one of two things - 1. it is too early to see anything in which case I need to come back in a week - or 2. there isn't anything to see.

Doc Oc said that my beta rise was very classic and healthy and that the stall (the numbers didn't dip enough to be considered a drop) we saw isn't unheard of, especially in the vanishing twin scenario. But, unfortunately, that doesn't leave us with a conclusive answer. We decided to do another beta. I should have the results today.

If the numbers increase, my next u/s is 8/1. If they decline... well then we discuss next steps and a miscarriage.

Now, we're just waiting for the phone to ring. Again.

Jeremy and I are not typically the formal praying type, but last night as we laid down to sleep, we held hands, placed them on my tummy and prayed with Sprout. Prayed that he/she is in there growing and thriving. Should you have a prayer or positive thought, please send them Sprout's way.