I'm sorry that I've been slacking on the blog writing. We were on vacation, but more than that I've not had a lot to talk about. I'm feeling a little worn out and numb. Last months doctor visit had me sobbing when I had not follicle development. This month? Not a tear. 'Okay' was my response. I feel like I've been standing in the same place for almost two years. I do not like this place we have arrived in. This passive acceptance of the hand that we've been dealt. This lack of progress. I don't feel at all anymore like we are moving forward towards a goal. I feel more like we're treading water and trying desperately not to drown.
It's because of this state of 'blah' that I've not really been talking about it much. There aren't any new developments, it is just business as usual around here. Being on vacation for a week really helped as a distraction, but it certainly didn't take long once we were home to get right back into my old groove.
I need to snap the hell out of it.
When you figure out how to snap out, let me know. I've been in that place. That acceptance, do I change my goals in life, do I change my dreams and just deal with this life that I have, how bad would it be to just BE, etc. place.
ReplyDeleteIt sucks and i don't have the answer for you. I made some changes in my life. I focused on LIFE again and re-kindled some old activities that I had stopped, and took pride in what was there instead of going through the motions. It helped, but that feeling, is always there, plaguing me, making me want to put things off again so I don't have to DEAL with those feelings of "what now". It's vicious.
HUGS.
I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say ((hugs)) hang in there!
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