I have no idea what's going on inside, but it appears I might almost be through the physical part of this miscarriage. I have an ultrasound this evening to be certain.
Wednesday night was horrible. I barely slept and spent the majority of the night in the bathroom. I was really grateful the on-call doc a few weeks ago called me in a prescription for pain medicine. I avoid taking them as much as possible, but it really helped take the edge off Wednesday night. There was a lot of pressure, aching, and that odd feeling to 'push' I've heard described before. A significant amount of blood (nothing I ever felt was dangerous) and a lot of tissue and clotting.
When I did get to lay down I couldn't get comfortable or sleep. Add to that I was afraid I would disrupt J even more. Every time he was conscious of me getting in/out of bed he would wake up, sit up, and ask me if I was okay, made sure I had my heating pad, etc. The poor guy had to work before dawn the next morning. After the meds kicked in late in the night (2:30 a.m. or so?) I wrapped myself in blankets and rested on the couch. I think I got about 2 hours of sleep.
There is still some bleeding, but it has gone down significantly since yesterday morning and Wednesday night. It was then that I'm fairly sure I passed the bulk of tissues. (sorry again for those that are sensitive...) I'm positive that I passed the sac. I was (irrationally?) afraid that I would see something that I could recognize. I wasn't sure how I would handle that. Thankfully, while this mass was certainly different looking and larger, it was nothing terrifying. For those curious, it was between the size of a cotton ball and a golf ball, if I had to guess. It was hard, don't get me wrong, but I was not further traumatized.
J is really ready to try again. He's convinced we'll get pregnant really quickly after this. In fact, he doesn't want to pick immediately back up at Seattle Reproductive. I agreed to wait a cycle before we went back, but I fear that he's getting his hopes up and has unrealistic expectations. I hate the idea that he could be disappointed again. We had a chat about it last night, but I'm not sure I swayed him. He's always so optimistic. It's one of the things I love about him.
Fingers are crossed that I'm on the downward slope. I'm ready to take steps to move forward. Ready and waiting.