Beginning of the End

Aren't you glad you come here for all of this uplifting and inspirational discussion?

Yesterday I gave you a little vent about how it was only Tuesday and it was amounting to a craptastic week. I had planned to go to bed early and forget it all happened. Remember that? Cause I barely do.

Instead, my miscarriage is starting. (for those sensitive to this topic, you may want to skip today's update. My feelings won't be hurt)

I don't mean to sound all melodramatic about the whole thing, because I knew it was coming. Somehow it is still managing to sweep me off my feet.

I originally started to type out all of the details, but really I don't think you want to hear all of the steps regarding its progression. I'm not certain where I am in the process. I haven't had any copious amount of bleeding, but I'm definitely not comfortable. I've also passed some tissue.

Also, I'm not really sure yet how I'm feeling. Numb might be the best way to describe it. Maybe that's because this has been coming on for so long? Who knows... I don't really feel like talking too much about it.

My best friend just saw her baby's heartbeat for the first time today. The last thing I want to do is put it out there and rain on her beautiful parade. She's already so worried about hurting me. I think that may be one of the hardest parts - watching your family and friends walk on eggshells around you. Not sure when to call or what to say.

Mostly, I just feel like being alone. Snuggled on the sofa in my sweatpants. Maybe mindlessly zoning out to Pinterest?

This wasn't a very cohesive or well organized post. I'm sorry, but I guess that's where I am right now. Thank you again and again for your positivity and prayers. Lots of love and hugs for each of you.