Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Beginning of the End

Aren't you glad you come here for all of this uplifting and inspirational discussion?

Yesterday I gave you a little vent about how it was only Tuesday and it was amounting to a craptastic week. I had planned to go to bed early and forget it all happened. Remember that? Cause I barely do.

Instead, my miscarriage is starting. (for those sensitive to this topic, you may want to skip today's update. My feelings won't be hurt)

I don't mean to sound all melodramatic about the whole thing, because I knew it was coming. Somehow it is still managing to sweep me off my feet.

I originally started to type out all of the details, but really I don't think you want to hear all of the steps regarding its progression. I'm not certain where I am in the process. I haven't had any copious amount of bleeding, but I'm definitely not comfortable. I've also passed some tissue.

Also, I'm not really sure yet how I'm feeling. Numb might be the best way to describe it. Maybe that's because this has been coming on for so long? Who knows... I don't really feel like talking too much about it.

My best friend just saw her baby's heartbeat for the first time today. The last thing I want to do is put it out there and rain on her beautiful parade. She's already so worried about hurting me. I think that may be one of the hardest parts - watching your family and friends walk on eggshells around you. Not sure when to call or what to say.

Mostly, I just feel like being alone. Snuggled on the sofa in my sweatpants. Maybe mindlessly zoning out to Pinterest?

This wasn't a very cohesive or well organized post. I'm sorry, but I guess that's where I am right now. Thank you again and again for your positivity and prayers. Lots of love and hugs for each of you.


  1. Definitely sounds like a craptastic week :( Im so sorry. Hopefully you are able to just curl up on the couch for a few days. Thinking of you and sending strength your way :)

  2. I am so sorry :( I know I felt like being alone for quite some time afterward. Do what you need to do. Also, my husband and I planned some time away for what would've been the baby's due date. That might be helpful for you and J, too. Though, I hope by that time, you all are already expecting another little one.

  3. You don't have to be upbeat or organized in your thoughts right now. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm praying for you, as always.

  4. Ugh, that sucks honey, and sucks is a word that doesn't even begin to describe what you're going through. :( Thinking of you.

  5. I'm sorry you're facing this- I'm there right now, and it sucks! We knew things weren't looking good for about a week before the bleeding began. By that point I was in the numb stage of things. It feels like everyday gets a little easier- like a little of the weight of the situation is lifting. Thinking of you.

  6. Thank you, everyone. Especially you, WandW. I'm sorry that you're in this crappy boat with me. Hugs to you

  7. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I totally get wanting to be alone. Just know that we are all thinking about you!

  8. hugs, hugs, and some more hugs. Also? This is your blog, so you don't have to apologize for anything. Say whatever you want/need to say. (it's jCam, I gave up on my regular account and am commenting from my work account).

  9. So sorry hon. I wish I could do something. Thinking of you and hoping you get through this quickly.