Monday, August 1, 2011

The Roller Coaster That is My Life.

Well, I've never been one to do anything the easy way. Why would my 'miscarriage' be any different??

Why the annoying little quotes? Let me back up a step, or five.

Last week left us here. With a beta of 8406. I spent the week mourning the loss of our sweet Sprout. I spoke with my nurse and a couple of doctors about our next steps. The game plan was to continue to get my betas done on a weekly basis to ensure I was working my way back down to zero in a timely and orderly fashion. Sounds simple enough, right?


I was supposed to go on Friday, but I decided to get my blood drawn Thursday night instead. As you know from my last post I was flying the coop for the weekend and I wanted to get my results Friday morning before I set off for my wine filled, sunshiney, extravaganza.

I only had to work a half day, so I was headed to my car at 11:00am when my doctors office number showed up on my caller id. Nicely timed. I can wrap this little piece up and get-to-gettin'. HA!



Last time I checked, 12,000 something is a LOT higher than 8,000 something. Not lower. Yeah folks, that's right, my betas went up. A lot. Now I am at a complete loss for words and my nurse, the sweet woman that she is says that she just plain doesn't have an explanation. But the good doctor did want me to get in right away to scope things out.

An hour later and me and my good pal the Dildo Cam we bumpin uglies on the exam table. I couldn't actually get in at my doctors office, so she sent me to see a radiologist at the lab next door. Since she isn't my doc they cannot give me the results. I did get to sneak a few peeks at the screen though, and with my advanced ultrasound skills I could see that things were different. Different how, I'm not sure (okay, so I'm not that advanced).

I had to wait FOREVER for my nurse to call me back (it was about 15 minutes) to tell me what in the hell I was in for. They saw the sac again, but the reason the sac looked different was that this time, there was a yolk.

Dudes and dudettes, there has been progress since last week. Insert my panic attack, hyperventilation, and utter dumbfoundedness. My nurse could not confirm my state (she isn't allowed), but she was very clear that I needed to drink plenty of fluids, I was on pelvic rest, I should take it very easy, do no heavy lifting, and absolutely take my prenatal vitamin.

Needless to say my weekend was not wine-filled.

There are no guarantees in this life. But thankfully we only have to wait until Wednesday to get another peek and see what in the hell is going on down there. I did have a bit of spotting last night. The first wipe was pretty dark red (sorry TMI), but it's been brown ever since. So, you just never know. I have no idea how this could be possible. I have no idea if Sprout (now renamed by its Aunties, 'Ninja') is still with us, but we're praying harder than ever.

I'm ready for definitive answers. If this is over, I need to know. If it isn't over? I want to be enjoying this time.

If you happen to have a spare prayer laying around, we are currently accepting donations.


  1. I have literally been praying nonstop.

  2. OMG OMG OMG OMG - are you serious?!! Lots of prayers coming your way from CO!!

  3. HOLY CRAP! Thats insane! Totally fast forwarding some prayers to you! :) Please keep us updated!

  4. OMG!!!!! This is amazing!!!! will be praying for you!!!

  5. PRAYING SO HARD RIGHT NOW. That is the craziest thing I have ever read, again lots of praying right now.

  6. WOW WOW WOW!! Praying that things continue to progress!!!

  7. WHHHATTTTTTT!!!!!???? OMGOSHHHHHH!!!! Im seriously freaking out hoping and praying over here!!!! O.M.G!! eeeeeeeekkkkkkk!!! :)

  8. Omg!!!! Praying like crazy!!!!!

  9. I definitely prayed for you! I believe.

  10. OMG!!! I can't imagine what is going through your head now. Saying prayers for good things :)

  11. Oh my gosh, S! I have seriously no idea what to say about this! Other than I am praying so hard for you guys! I am really hoping that Sprout is a super-stealthy ninja baby that's just been hiding out really well this whole time.

  12. Crossing my fingers! Take care of yourself! xoxo

  13. What in the world?? That is crazy! I hope everything works out. What a roller coaster!

  14. What in the world?! That is shocking and amazing news. I hope to high heavens that your little ninja sprout is hanging in there and you are indeed still preggers.

    You are in my thoughts my friend. I can't wait to hear about Wednesday!


  15. This is AMAZING!!! Vanishing twin, perhaps?