Heart to Heart

I had a heart to heart, with myself, last night as I tried to go to sleep. I was exhausted, but my mind wouldn't settle down.

If I get a BFN tomorrow, I am going to be very sad. I am always sad when each cycle doesn't work out. But, what I lay in bed thinking about last night was my goals/to-do lists. I made two. One set if we get a BFP, and another if we don't.

BFN
1. I must get back to working out regularly. The gym sucks. I will never be a huge fan. However, I do really like how much better I feel when I'm getting more regular exercise and YOGA. Oh how I desperately miss my yoga.

2. Save money. We have had quite a few expenses come up this summer. Fixing up our kitchen and now waiting to find out what the dog is going to cost us are the two biggest ones. We still have a decent savings, but it isn't anywhere near where I'd like it to be. I need to get us back on a bit more of a conservative budget.

3. Get more focused on my healthy diet. Refocus on my carbs (I've slacked a bit) and begin planning better meals. We've gotten so busy that we're throwing things together on the fly. We've all been there and we know that it often means you don't eat what's best for you.

BFP
1. Cry

2. Gather myself for one more day of work before my extra long weekend.

3. See BFN's 1-3

4. Make an entirely different, much more complicated, to-do list.

What will be, will be. There isn't anything I can do to change it now. I just pray that this time it will be different. Please let this be our time.